I cant help but feel bad for Rosalie. She is so sad, so lonely. I thought I was having a hard time. She keeps thinking of the family she will never have. The little boy with curly hair, and her best friend, who was the boy's mother. These two seem to have been very close to her, and she is not only jealous of them and their love for one another, but she longs for what they have. She wishes she too could have a child.
Vampires become infertile once their bodies take on the change to immortality. Carlisle has explained this to her in full already, several times. When your body changes, everything stops. Your heart stops, your veins stop pumping blood, and a woman vampire's body stops going through its monthly cycle. No cycle, no period, no fertility. No baby.
This was the hardest thing for Rosalie to adjust to. Perhaps the only hard thing for Rosalie to adjust to. She loved her new looks, the way vampirism enhanced her beauty. She loved the speed, the agility of our kind. She didn't even mind the thirst, the agonizing thirst. She had fairly little trouble feeding off of animals, although I have to admit, for a woman she is a great hunter. Esme hunts like a timid girl. Rosalie hunts like it is a sport, a game. She anticipates it, enjoys it. Then again, she is the competitive type.
Her depression seems to give us a connection though. Although she still seems bitter that I am not attracted to her, among other things, we have gotten past that somewhat and seem to get along a little better. At least, we do not completely hate each other anymore. So I would like to say we are making progress.
I have finished Esme's song. She loves it, of course. I am more critical of it, but Esme says that is only because it is my piece, and I am going to criticize my own work more harshly than anyone else. Even Carlisle enjoys listening to it. I play it every night. It helps pass the time, and I tend to run out of things to do and get bored with myself.
I suppose I should close the book on tonight, and come back another time, as I am due for a good long walk. Perhaps some scenery and fresh air will do me good. Rosalie still insists on wearing her perfume from her human life, and my vampire sense of smell just cant stand it. It's some flowery, musky thing from some expensive store that her fiance bought her as a gift, and she can't bear to part with it. I understand, it just smells awful. In fact, the more I think about it, the longer a walk I think I might take. A good hunt might do as well. I could use a break from the Cullen house for a few hours.
Labels:
Before Twilight
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Carlisle Cullen
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Depressed
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Edward Cullen
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Esme Cullen
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Rosalie Cullen
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Rosalie Hale
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Twilight
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Vampires
