Dumb Boy

by Jessica L

Well its been a week and the girls haven't slowed down their Edward Operations at all. All of the Cullens are teasing me about it and it seems to be the running joke at home.  Even Carlisle thinks it is funny.  The only one who isn't giving me a hard time is Esme.  Tanya called the other day to offer her services, saying she would come down to play the role of my "hot college girlfriend."  I told her I would pass on that offer, but thanks.  I was glad I couldn't read her thoughts over the phone.  Like I didn't have enough on my hands as it is, the last thing I needed was another dumb girl.


The Cullen house party was interesting, however.  The decorations were incredible, there were mini sandwiches, little deli rolls, chips with assorted dips, fruit punch (which someone spiked half-way through the party and Esme replaced without being seen) and a couple other finger-food types of things that I really didn't want to smell.  Human food tastes like dirt to me, therefore I avoid it as much as possible.


Music was my responsibility.  I hauled all of my records down from my room and played the role of deejay all night.  I was more than happy to do the job, as it got me in one corner and unable to have the Ed-girls try to pull me away.  I also strategically placed a fan behind me to help blow any human scents away from my nose, but the nose plugs Carlisle made for us worked surprisingly well.


Alice flitted about the room, making casual conversation, being friendly in ways that would probably end come Monday.  She dragged Jasper along with her, grumbling.  I knew that despite his appearance of looking like he didn't want to socialize, he was constantly emitting his aura of calm onto others.  Always making things go smooth.  Rosalie and Emmett were curled up into each other on the couch, ignoring everything and everyone.  Not that I was surprised.  In fact, I found it quite humorous because it was quite the typical teenage thing to do.  I did cause a little bit of gossip, however, not that Rosalie would care.  I think she preferred to be the center of the gossip rather than on the outside of it.


The most interesting thing happened when some idiot decided to take a running head start and grab the hanging lamp in the middle of the living room, hanging from it and yelling like a chimpanzee.  It was fitting, this was about what he looked like- a big, heavy, hairy kid with overalls and a green shirt and heavy boots with dark hair.  It didn't last long before the lamp caved under his weight, sending them both crashing down onto the coffee table below him, smashing it into pieces.  One of the pieces splintered his back, causing a semi-bloody mess all over the boy and the floor.  


All of us vampires tensed immediately, and before anyone noticed, Esme and Carlisle were in the room as well.  Jasper stood behind Alice, who seemed almost as though she was holding him back.  His thoughts were clear- he could see every drop of blood dripping off the boy- and it looked good- but he didn't want to disappoint Alice.  Alice wasn't tempted in the slightest.  Thank Carlisle for those noseplugs.  Rosalie and Emmett were somewhere in the middle- trying to decide how to go after the boy with all these people in the room and at the same time trying to control the urge.  I was tempted, but not as much as Rosalie and Emmett were.  Esme was completely calm, and she started ushering people out the door and to their cars.  Carlisle immediately hovered over the boy and offered to help him, waving us away behind him.


Carlisle's obvious hand gesture seemed to work like a magic charm.  Or more like a father shaming his children.  Either way, any temptation we had felt before was gone now.  We all felt foolish now.  And stupid for thinking we could throw a party in our home without Esme and Carlisle in the room in the first place.  
What a dumb boy.  As I was thinking it, so was Rosalie.
"How dumb are you?  You thought that lamp could hold your fat body?  My ceiling is made of steel?"  She practically yelled at the poor kid.
"Rosalie."  Carlisle cautioned.
"No wonder you have no friends."  The kid told her back flatly, and the rest of us laughed.  Rosalie didn't find it so funny.  At least it ended the conversation.


Carlisle patched the kid up, it didn't need much more than a few bandages, no stitches or anything.  It wasn't much more than a few scrapes and bruises.  Then we sent the kid on his way with some apologies and some party food.  He was happy by the time he left, and we were more than hospitable.  We all knew that wouldn't be happening again any time soon, though.  


It didn't take long to clean up after the party was over, including the ceiling/table mess.  Our super speed comes in handy for times like these, I suppose.  Of course, we all went out and hunted that night.  It was a must.  Aside from that, everything has been calm.  The rest of the weekend has flown by, and I am not so eager to get back to school.  I guess I will be back when I have more to write about.  That's it for now.
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