Edward's Journal: Alice Cullen

Showing posts with label Alice Cullen. Show all posts

Visitors

by Jessica L

Time flies when your having fun. At least that is what they tell me. I guess time also flies when you are a vampire, and you have eternity to live. You get twenty four hours in a day to figure out how to spend your time, and endless hours to fill. Time flies.

It seems like forever since I last wrote an entry in this journal. I suppose I don't really write when there isn't much to write about. Things have been peaceful, and life has been good. I have been my usual, brooding self. Rosalie has stared at herself in the mirror, primped her hair, and twirled her dresses. Emmett has flexed his muscles, wrestled a few bears, and cracked a few tasteless jokes. Esme is still her same, wonderfully loving, motherly self, and Carlisle is still always balancing endless hours at the doctor's office with spending time with his family of vampires.

Even the town has grown accustomed to us. For the first time, we completely fit in here, for the most part. Carlisle is well-liked, and the rest of us aren't seen enough to raise many eyebrows. People mind their own business, and what people do think about us are generally good thoughts, or at the very least, positive thoughts, in one way or another.

However, it seems that just when we fall into a pattern, a sense of feeling at home, something comes along to rock the boat. Two visitors came knocking on the door of the Cullen house yesterday. I am still trying to figure out what to make of them exactly. They are a couple, a vampire couple.

Their names are Alice and Jasper, and they are unlike anyone I have ever really encountered. Their stories are completely wild. Jasper is a vampire warrior. He was a soldier in his human life, and he was created for the sole purpose of fighting in vampire wars, vampire battles. He grew tired of that life, however, tired of all the killing, and sought peace. Alice, on the other hand, is a blank. She has no memories at all of her human life, and no idea who created her or why.

They have appeared on our doorstep asking for a place to stay for awhile. Carlisle, being the kind man that he is, of course did not refuse them. I am intrigued by them both and wonder about the thoughts I see in each of them. They both seem to be keeping to themselves for now, but I am eager to learn more about them. I am not really sure how long they will be staying here. Alice told Carlisle that she heard of us, but when he asked who he had heard of us from, she said she did not want to explain it just yet, and threw me an awkward glance.

I tried to read Alice's mind but then Jasper gave Carlisle an odd look and then a weird feeling of calm came over me and I found Jasper's thoughts to be very overwhelming. He was concentrating very hard on getting everyone in the room to feel very calm, and I could no longer concentrate on what anyone else was thinking, as I was so preoccupied on him. His thoughts were almost like a command, an order inside his head, like he was willing everyone to feel calm, rather than thinking that everyone should feel calm. It was odd and it bothered me.

Perhaps I will discuss this with Carlisle. I don't want him to think that I am not giving the new visitors a chance, so maybe I will wait. Tomorrow is a new day to explore their actions and thoughts a little more. Perhaps time will tell. For now, it is late and I am tired. I will be back to share all the new discoveries about these new vampires.

Adjusting

by Jessica L

Our visitors are odd indeed, but I am not sure that is a bad thing. I am actually starting to like them both, and for completely different reasons. Perhaps I should start with Alice.

Alice is like a little butterfly. She is tiny, and she flits around from room to room, with energy and focus. She has short brown hair, which is cut in a wild style which seems to suit her. She always seems to know what is going to happen, and prepares for it. I am not sure what to think of her entirely, but she is very friendly and almost drowns me with her friendliness. It is hard not to like her. In fact, it is almost impossible. She and I are becoming fast friends. The only thing that bothers me about her is that there seems to be something lurking on the edge of her thoughts that she seems to want to tell me, and doesn't seem ready to. I see her debating it- should she tell me, maybe, not yet, maybe later. It is driving me insane, but I do not know her well enough to ask what it is she is thinking about. I cannot exactly tell her I read minds.

Jasper, on the other hand, seems to be the other side of her coin. He is the darkness to her light. He balances her out in every way. They are another perfect match, which makes me question so many things I have seen in this short vampire life of mine. And because he is so different from Alice, and yet so perfectly matched for her, we also get along very well. Jasper is struggling very hard to be a "good vampire." It seems almost impossible for him to stop feeding on human blood. I am not exactly sure how long it has been since his last human meal, but he seems to think of it often, especially when we go into town. Alice reassures him constantly, telling him things like, "You won't do anything, it's okay." and "Relax, trust yourself, you aren't going to act on your thirst today." While these statements are a little odd, they seem to calm him. He thinks that she knows what she says, that her words are to be trusted, and he believes her.

Jasper struggles so much- in my opinion at least- because he was a fighter for so long. He spent so much time literally seeking out vampires, destroying them and feeding on humans all the while. It is hard to give up that life. Once you take another's life- vampire or human- it changes you. The more lives you take, the more changed you become. I also think that Jasper struggles because he doesn't have very much faith in himself, but then again, I am not a therapist. I am only Edward, and who am I to say? Either way, his history and mine help me feel a little closer to him, although that might sound a little silly now that I have put that on paper. He was a skilled fighter, and I was a vengeful monster, but at the same time, something inside me feels like he might understand some of what I was feeling when I went through my darkest of days. There was a reason he left that life, after all.

At any rate, they have told Carlisle that they sought us out not as a temporary place to stay, but as a refuge. They wish to stay here, probably permanently, if we will have them. I have no objections to that. I am happy with them staying for some reason. I feel oddly linked to them both. Emmett has already become at ease with them both as well. Rosalie is a little at odds with Jasper from time to time, but she has opened right up to Alice. Alice seems to have a knack for fashion. She is interested in all of the clothing from New York and London, and loves to show Rosalie all of the things she would love to order from the catalogues. They play dress up or whatever it is that girls do in the bathroom with their clothes and makeup. Rosalie seems to really enjoy having another girl around. As I said, Alice practically smothers you in her friendliness. It was hard for even Rosalie to resist.

The Cullens are supposed to be voting tonight on whether or not we would like to have Alice and Jasper stay with us indefinitely. I have a good feeling about it. Carlisle wanted us to have some time to think it over before we voted, but I am not sure any of us really needed much time to make up our minds. Alice and Jasper have won us over. Although Jasper still does that weird commanding us all to be calm thing, they are both really enjoyable to be around for the most part. I will be back to write more after I know what is going on with the vote and everything. For now, I guess that is all!

Near Future

by Jessica L

The bond I thought I was feeling with Alice and Jasper- both in different ways and yet both quickly growing- seems to be based on more than just what lies on the surface. The more time they spend with us the more I find out about them, and it seems to me as though I cannot possibly find out more about each of them than I already have

The vote went as well as I expected it to. Alice and Jasper are going to be sharing a room at the end of the upstairs hall, which we never really used before anyways. This big house has plenty of space for them. Alice already has it decorated to her liking, with fabric draped over the windows in a very oriental style that she must have seen in a book somewhere and hanging lanterns she fashioned out of some things she found in shops in town. She is very creative and knows how to make just about any space look good. Her knack for fashion apparently applies to rooms as well. Esme was in love with the room, and they were quickly absorbed in conversation about decorating the new house on Isle Esme.

Jasper and Alice seem to fit in well, although Jasper is not quite as well received as Alice, he enjoys hunting with us boys, and Emmett likes having another person around to pick on and joke with. It seems that the more I have been around them, however, the more I noticed odd things in their thoughts. Alice seemed to get frequent headaches and always wondered things about the future, whereas Jasper seemed to urge calm feelings whenever he felt out of place or out of control in a situation. It started to bother me, and I finally brought it up to Alice.

My conversation with Alice went well, almost as if she saw it coming, and nothing I said caught her off guard. That should have been my first clue. I was telling her things about my past, leading up to it, and then I spilled the beans about being able to read people's thoughts. She took it in stride. Her response was "Well then, it should be easy for you to communicate with other people, considering you already know what they are going to say." That was frustrating, because she was right and wrong at the same time. She sees things so simply, but at the same time, people usually don't say what they mean.

I could see her secret nagging at the edge of her thoughts. She was debating telling me again. "Well, I suppose it's time to tell you then." She said. And then she let the cat out of the bag. She told me she could see the future. The news floored me. I am not sure why, since there were plenty of clues along the way. Between her actions and her thoughts I should have put two and two together. But I have never met another vampire with a special ability before so it took me by surprise.

Her future telling has limits, of course, like my mind reading. She can only tell the future about people she knows, or things she tries to see. So she does not get random visions of total strangers. She has to be searching for something to see it. Or at least she has to know a person to see their future. Also, she can only see the future to the point that a certain decision is made. If a decision is changed, the future is changed. If a decision hasn't been made yet, the future is uncertain and cannot be seen.

She also came clean about how she found Carlisle and the Cullen house also. Jasper and Alice were seeking out a new way of life, a peaceful life, and she got a vision of Carlisle. It makes sense considering that Carlisle is one of the most peaceful vampires in existence. If she had been searching for peace, she would find him, no doubt. We have talked for hours about her power and mine. She told me she saw this in a vision as well, but didn't want to tell me too soon and scare me. I find it funny now that I think about it.

Alice also says that Jasper has something special about him, but that it is better he tells us himself. She wants to tell the rest of the Cullens about her mind reading ability first. One thing at a time, I suppose. I am just glad I am not the only oddball in the family anymore. I am going to support her when she tells the rest of the family about her ability, as she is a little worried. She said she had a vision that when she told them, things went flying in the room and Rosalie was angry, Emmett stormed out, and she couldn't see anything else. I tried to be reassuring, and maybe her visions could be wrong. I guess we will see what happens when it happens. I am also eager to learn about Jasper, although I have a few guesses as to what it is that he can do already.

Tantrum

by Jessica L

Well Alice's vision was correct- as she knew it would be. We sat down at the Cullen family table, and had a little talk. It went well at first, with Alice explaining that she had something difficult that she wanted to tell everyone, and everyone pledging their support. Then when she said that she could tell the future, there was a full moment of silence. Just silence.

I saw it forming in Rosalie's mind before it happened. The jealousy. She was thinking that now Alice had something over her. Something to make her special. Something unique, even better than beauty. The bowl went flying before Rosalie even had a second to double think it. She looked at the bowl and the next thing I knew, it was shattered against the wall. It was just that fast. After she threw the bowl, she took off out the door, and Emmett followed quickly. It was just like Alice saw in her vision.

The rest of us were still sitting there, stunned by the actions of Rosalie, when Jasper opened his mouth to speak. "I told you they wouldn't accept us here."

She shook her head sadly, as if to agree with him, but her thoughts weren't so sure. I flickered over to Carlisle. He wanted me to go after Rosalie and Emmett, and bring them back to apologize. Talk some sense into their stubborn heads. Esme and Carlisle would explain to Jasper and Alice that Rosalie just had a bad temper and it tended to cool. I hoped Carlisle was right.

I excused myself and exited the room. I heard Esme speaking softly as I wandered out of the house, following Emmett's scent. Each vampire has their own unique scent, as each human does- and is able to be tracked if you know their scent well enough. Rosalie likes to wear perfume which makes her easy to track, but she changes her perfume from time to time, and to be honest, her perfumes usually irritate me, so it is easier just to track Emmett. I found them easily, hunting in the woods. Hunting usually calms us down, brings our ability to think rationally back into focus.

Rosalie grunted at me the second she noticed me. Emmett chucked. Figures. I smiled.
"Nice display of family togetherness back there." I joked. Sarcasm was my strong suit.
"Whatever." Rosalie replied.
"Don't you think they've been through enough? They came here for a family. For some support." I said.
"They don't need my support."
"They dont need your jealousy either." I told her bluntly.
"What do you know?" She picked up a huge boulder and threw it at me. I glided out of her way and it crumbled against the cold ground.
"I know that you think you have to be the best and have the best. Can't she have one thing above you without you throwing a tantrum? I think your beauty should be enough. Besides, her visions cause her enough trouble, she doesn't need you hating her on top of it."
She stared at me a moment, but didn't say anything. After a moment, Emmett spoke up.
"What do you mean they cause her problems?"
"They give her headaches, they can change a lot, she sees things she doesn't want to see. It doesn't seem to be a blessing."
Rosalie thought about that for a moment, kicking a few rocks around. Emmett already had his mind made up.
"We need to go in there and apologize, Rose."
"Exactly." I said.
Rosalie sighed. She knew we were right, but she didn't want to admit it.
"I'll go in there, I'll sit down, and I'll listen. I am not apologizing for anything."
This was probably as good as we were going to get. I looked at Emmett, and he looked at me. We both shrugged our shoulders, and headed inside with Rosalie on our tails.

Once we got inside, I could tell Carlisle and Esme had done a fairly decent job of explaining to Alice and Jasper that Rosalie is like a spoiled girl who never really got a chance to grow out of that "I get everything I want when I want it" phase. They seemed to be taking it in stride. When Rosalie sat back down at the table, Emmett apologized for both of them, which got an indignant little huff out of Rosalie, but Alice smothered that with hugs for both of them.
"I just want you guys to understand how much we love being here! I want you to know we don't mean any harm and I couldn't bear to not tell you guys anymore!" She cast a pointed look at Jasper, but he shook his head.

I looked his way, and could see that whatever it was he had to tell us all, he was certainly not going to tell us now that Rosalie threw her little temper tantrum. Perhaps another time then. Things went a little smoother for the rest of the day, and we were all getting along better by nightfall. Of course, here I am sitting at my desk, the only one without a partner, with nothing else to do but journal, so I'm pouring my heart out on paper while they all cozy up in their beds. But I'm not going to think about that.

Carlisle says that there is someone out there for me. I can only imagine what kind of vampire could fill those shoes. Wow. Hope she likes to read after all the time I've spent with the library of books I've accumulated so far. I guess that's it for now. Be back soon with more.

Endings

by Jessica L

Alice and Jasper fit in really well here with us. They have become true members of our family now. Our ever growing family. Jasper finally told us his secret. If you can call it a secret. By the time he told us, I had already figured it out. He is able to influence the moods of others. He can calm people down, ease their anxiety or anger. I see it in his mind, when he tries to focus on getting them to settle down, getting them to take it easy and think calm thoughts. It works wonders on humans, and it works pretty well on vampires too.

He doesn't use it much, though. Actually, that isn't quite true. He uses it whenever it suits him to do so, he just doesn't use it for anything particularly important. He usually uses it while hunting, so the animals don't feel any fear when he's about to attack, which I think is kind of him. He also uses it when we are out in town, when someone casts him (or any of us really) an awkward glance. It is a useful power in small ways.

Alice's power, on the other hand, are very useful in much larger ways. They seem to have been the lifeline of their goals many times, and as it turns out, Alice's visions came in to be even handier than my mind reading lately. She has gotten several visions of local townspeople up in Forks having some odd reactions to us while we were out and about in town. Some things have been changing, I suppose. Our family is growing with no real explanation. We all look a little odd, and there have been whispers. I have heard some of the thoughts around town.

One of Alice's visions came in to be particularly important. It was of a local teenage girl who had been missing for a while. She had gotten lost while hiking and ended up dead in the woods where we hunt. Apparently a search party will be formed, and the search party is going to happen across some of the dead animals that we have hunted, as well as the dead girl. Talk will start up. The dead animals will not be far from the Cullen house, as sometimes we get lazy and do not venture far from home. Sometimes we do, so the animals will go far and wide all over the woods. This will not be good for us. We never stopped to think that the rotting bodies of deer, bear, and mountain lions would pose a problem for us. Not many girls go missing in the woods.

The girl is a rather popular one at the small school up in Forks. She was pretty and well liked, so we know who she is. I am sure that everyone in town knows who she is, for that matter. I did a quick sweep of the town, and confirmed that she is still in her bed, safe. Alice doesn't believe that she will go missing for at least another week or two, judging by the amount of leaves on the trees. In her vision there were almost no leaves left, and in real life, there are still plenty.

Our plan is to leave Hoquiam before heads are turned in our direction. We will tell people that Esme is homesick for her family, and head in a northern direction. Carlisle has some friends up in Alaska that he says will show us their home for a while, and then we can move on from there. That way when the girl goes missing, we will not be there when the search party is launched, nor when the animals are discovered. Hopefully it will diminish the talk. Alice has faith that it will work. I am hopeful as well, as I have a lot of experience with the human frame of mind. People tend to blame things on outsiders. They will say vagrants came through, hunters, something like that. Even blame it on other animals. I doubt they will look at Carlisle and his family as suspects in the animal killings. In the future we will be more careful, learn to hunt more cleanly.

For now, I must go. Lots of packing to do, and things to clean. We are keeping the Cullen house. Perhaps we can come back here in the future. It is beautiful after all, and we truly feel at home here. It just wont be anytime soon. Maybe we will give it 50 years or so. But for today, Hoquiam is not our home any longer. I suppose all good things come to an end.

Succubus

by Jessica L

I hate moving. Of all the parts of being a vampire, leaving the places you finally grow accustomed to and begin to call home is the worst. I have no home, I am a vagrant. Carlisle likes to say that the home is where the heart is, but do vampires even have hearts? Our hearts do not beat, they do not pump blood. So would that even count? Perhaps I am over thinking again, being a downer in my own skin.

At any rate, we have moved on from our home, the one true place since I was human where I really felt at home. I am not even sure why it is that I liked our house in Hoquiam so much, it wasn't necessarily the town, or the people there. Maybe it was the house itself, or the woods, the atmosphere. I just felt home. Either way, it is gone now, for a while at least. We spent the longest time there as anywhere. True, we flitted back and forth, did a lot of traveling in between, so people didn't realize that we stayed the entire time, but we spent a long time there. And now we have lost it.

The girl won't be found for a couple more weeks, so we are hoping to be in the clear as far as that goes, but Alice is going to keep her eye on Forks and the townspeople just in case. Her visions get sharper and sharper the more she practices. I suppose my mind reading does to. The more you use it, the better it gets. We will need her to be at the top of her game in a few weeks in order to make sure we didn't raise any suspicion even though we are gone. We can never be too safe.

We have traveled up to Alaska, to a small area where Carlisle knows a vegetarian coven like ours. The Denali family is made up of the sisters Irina, Katrina (most call her Kate) and Tanya, but they were recently joined by other vegetarian vampires Eleazar and his lover Carmen. Eleazar and Carmen are said to have special abilities, so I am eager to meet them. The Denali coven is considered to be Carlisle's closest friends, people he counts on in his time of deepest need. We have come to them because our move was such short notice we really didn't get a chance to get a place set up or a story straight for our next destination. Visiting the Denali's seems like a nice chance to get a little rest and give us a chance to figure out our next move.

I didn't realize that the Denali sisters were the original succubus' however. They have a fondness for men, in fact, their love for men is what made them stop hunting humans in the first place. They couldn't bear to destroy that which they loved so much. While I find this intriguing and almost humorous, it seems to have backfired on me.

Tanya has developed very intense feelings for me. She is a very beautiful vampire, with her strawberry blonde curls and her full lips. She has a playful personality and is also very loyal and loving. However, I have no ability, nor desire, to love another person- or vampire. I cannot. I do not return her affections, which she has no problem showing me at any time, and I can see that rejection is hurting her feelings.

Even Carlisle is disappointed that I do not find Tanya to be a suitable mate for me. She is an incredible woman, but she is not for me. I am not attracted to her. I am not attracted to anyone- nor have I been in a very long time- I am cold inside, dead. I died becoming a vampire, and I cannot fix that. I feel ashamed that I disappoint Carlisle and Tanya, but I have to be true to myself as well. I must do what is best for myself. So I will drown myself in a little more music, a few more books, buy a couple more cars. There is a Mustang Shelby GT that would look nice in my collection.

Tanya will move on to the next good looking thing to walk her direction, she is a succubus after all- she claims she is the original. And we will all be fine. At least she will. I will be here nonetheless. Fine or not. I am starting to wonder about the fine part. I guess time will tell.

Cover

by Jessica L

Well, as fun as Alaska is, vacations are only vacations, and Denali is not our home. We must move on. We have been considering our options, and it seems that we all agree that West Virginia seems like a nice area to venture into next. Charleston is a fairly small area, with a fairly small population, and nice lower suburbs. The nicest appeal for us, however, is the lack of sunshine there. Charleston is said to be sunny less than half of the year, which is a huge bonus for us.

More important than where we are going, however, is what we are going to say when we get there. We aren't going to travel across the country and move into this city, declaring ourselves to be the seven members of the Cullen family. That right there would throw people off and raise eyebrows. As if we need anymore than our incredible looks and odd demeanor to do that. We have spent a lot of time in the past few days deciding on our new "cover story."

The easiest cover story we could think of- with the help of Carmen and her endless compassion for others- was that Carlisle and Esme were foster parents for the rest of us. This would help explain why they look so young, obviously too young to have a bunch of teenage children. It would also explain why they have so many children and it would play up on Carlisle's humanitarian role as well as giving Esme something to do as far as the public were concerned.

Rosalie has been the biggest piece in our new cover story. It has been very important to her to retain her human last name. I am not sure why she wants to keep it after she just spent the last couple decades as a Cullen, but judging by the thoughts in her head, I understand why it is so important to her to keep it in general. She feels it is important to retain anything and everything that ties her to her human life. The name Hale helps her hold on to her identity, separates her and keeps her special. It also helps her remember that she was human once, that she had something worth living for. She was loved and loveable and able to bear a child. Emmett is slightly bummed by the Hale thing, especially since traditionally he wants to have the same name as her, but like Emmett, he gets over it shortly after the feelings come up.

Since Jasper and Rosalie both look so similar, with the same color hair and tall, lean figures, we decided it would be smarter if they both went by the last name of Hale. Emmet and I would be brothers and Alice would be the newest of the group. We would all have our own timelines of when the Cullens (Carlisle and Esme) had adopted us, in case anyone asked.

The worst part of the entire thing was, of course, that we would all be attending high school again. It would be my third time going through school, and everyone else's second not counting our human school experiences- whatever those might have been. Alice isn't sure whether or not she even attended school in her human life.

I hate school. Don't get me wrong, the learning part I love. However, there is nothing left for me to learn in high school. I am bored there. I cannot socialize, the students are beneath me. Therefore, there is nothing to gain from going except to look normal, fit in, and be sure not to raise any eyebrows.

Ah, well, it is the 1960's and people tend to be experimenting with a lot of drugs these days, perhaps they will not notice so much if I do not fit in so well. Humans can be so droll, they do things that destroy their very fragile lives, never stopping to realize the preciousness of what they have, or appreciate it. Then they stop and marvel in the destruction they have caused- hating it, blaming it on others when it was their faults all along. This is in fact a dreary time for the human race, war, hatred, drugs. I hope it passes quickly for them.

Anyway, I am being a bore again. The dark moods I get in seem to catch me off guard- always. Alice says one day I will read these journals and laugh at the sadness and anger I felt, marvel at how I could have ever been so lonely and lost. I wonder how she could know such a thing. She is not sure, she just sees that I will be truly happy one day. That is something to look forward to. A day of peace. I am sure my pen will be grateful indeed.

Trends

by Jessica L

Charleston has so far been as interesting as can be expected. People here are your average, typical people. The area of town we have moved into, just south of Charleston, West Virginia, is typical as well, an average set of row houses, where each one looks the same as the next, but they are all spaced out far between the first. We don't live in the suburbs of course, we live in the countryside right outside of the suburbs. There is a little land on our property, and good old Dr. Cullen can get away with telling people that the row houses just don't have enough space for his growing brood. People are quick to understand.

Our house here is like most New England plantation style homes, big, roomy and old. We have fixed it up on the inside rather quickly, but to avoid turning any heads, it is still peeling paint and bearing droopy floorboards on the outside. It is grey, and dreary, but it is not so bad. Inside it is rather homey, considering we just got here. Then again it doesn't take much for us to turn our house into a home. We all have enough belongings to fill ten houses. When you live forever, you accumulate a lot of stuff.

School started last week as well. It is almost comical to go to school. We stick together, us Cullen kids. We turn heads, because we are the new kids, and everyone wants to know who we are, but for the most part we keep to ourselves. At least we are seniors here so it wont be very long before we can get jobs and/or be out of the face of the teenage public.

Alice has no trouble making friends, but I try to tell her she is better off keeping her distance. She thinks I am being ridiculous. It is dangerous to make human friends, but Alice has confidence both in her ability to appear human as well as in her ability to forsee any problems. Everyone else sides with me, especially Jasper, so I am sure she will come around soon.

The kids at school are all sporting their stylish clothes, boys with their button down shirts, often plaid ones, or the girls with have bouffant hair- which is very puffy at the top. We got there with our traditional clothes- or Alice and Rosalie in their ahead-of-the-trends style- and looked very out of place and needed to adjust quickly. I hate these shirts. Plaid is not my thing. Its hideous. Emmett makes fun of me a lot. I just joke back that he looks like Paul Bunyan and then we end up on the floor, wrestling. Jasper refuses to wear them at all. His style is his style, he says, fitting in or not. That's Jasper for you. Then again, people are more at ease with Jasper. Perhaps it is his ability.

I am still bored to tears here. I started reading a couple new books. In Cold Blood by a person named Capote has been interesting. It was the title that drew me in, obviously. The book wasn't what I expected, but a guy can get bored reading the same books over and over for decades and decades. I am working on a new song as well. I haven't been giving my piano playing much attention lately, especially since we spent all that time in Denali, so I am making up for it now.

Aside from that, things are calm on the front here. Boring, safe. It is good that way, don't get me wrong. It is just that I am so sick of life- or should I say death? Whatever in between I am trapped in, I am sick of this. I need a change. I need something. I guess I should go hunt. There are some elk in the nearby woods, they are a nice change for me. You get bored eating the same thing over and over. Maybe Jasper is up for a race to the woods. Be back later.

Girls Girls Girls

by Jessica L

School has become an even bigger frustration this time around. There is a flock of girls that has decided to devote itself to me. It is made up of three or four girls, and they are not the most popular girls, but perhaps the second most, as far as cliques are concerned.

I am not really sure how it has happened, I used to frighten people with my looks, and my stare could get a person to turn around and walk in the other direction. These girls, however, find my stare to be enticing. It gives them chills, thrills them. They think I am exciting. I am something to talk about. They follow me from class to class, and even dared to sit with me and the rest of the Cullens at lunch yesterday. I am growing quite concerned.

I can follow all of their thoughts around throughout the day and pinpoint each one. Their various activities range from daydreaming about me in different activities to doodling about me in their notebooks. Mrs Edward Cullen. Mrs. Amy Edward Cullen. Mrs. Cullen. Amy loves Edward. Edward loves Amy. Amy and Edward forever. How many times can a silly human girl think to write the same stupid thing? Apparently a thousand because they can take up an entire notebook. And all of the girls do it, not just the one.

It is gross, actually. I thought Tanya was annoying. This is outright ridiculous. One will be daydreaming about our wedding- especially the romantic kiss at the end (it is very gross to see yourself kissing some high school girl in your own made up wedding by the way), the next girl is thinking about how she wants me to entice her into my bedroom when I ask her over to study (these daydreams are even worse). Of course, I would never ask her over to study.

Perhaps that is another problem. The Cullen house is elusive, and no one has ever been inside it. The high schoolers are starting to talk about it, and wonder if anyone has been cool enough to visit for any reason. Perhaps the best way to kill the gossip is to throw a party. We have decided to throw Emmett a birthday bash, and invite everyone from high school. Alice- being the social butterfly amongst us- is simply going to pass out flyers advertising a party for Emmett's birthday at the Cullen house.

This is something that worries me almost as much as it suggests a solution to the problem. A bunch of humans in a house of vampires can always pose a risk. We will go hunting right before the party of course, and do the best we can. Carlisle suggested we put something in our noses to plug the smell. Our noses are very sensitive to smell even though we don't need to breathe, so the hint of humans and their blood can entice us. Alice has a good feeling about this party, but better safe than sorry. I think it is a good idea. Carlisle is probably at home fashioning wax nose plugs right now to test them out.

Esme is excited, it will give her a chance to cook. Even though we don't eat, Esme loves the chance to tinker around in the kitchen. The room never gets any use, bur is always fully stocked for display purposes. Any reason for Esme to play in there is nothing but fun for her, even though she usually won't admit it aloud. Alice will do the decorations while Esme cooks.

Well, that is about it for tonight. I guess I will keep you updated on the Edward Lovers (that is what they call themselves, like a little group). If only they knew I was supposed to eat them for dinner. Ha. Oh well. Be back later.

Dumb Boy

by Jessica L

Well its been a week and the girls haven't slowed down their Edward Operations at all. All of the Cullens are teasing me about it and it seems to be the running joke at home. Even Carlisle thinks it is funny. The only one who isn't giving me a hard time is Esme. Tanya called the other day to offer her services, saying she would come down to play the role of my "hot college girlfriend." I told her I would pass on that offer, but thanks. I was glad I couldn't read her thoughts over the phone. Like I didn't have enough on my hands as it is, the last thing I needed was another dumb girl.

The Cullen house party was interesting, however. The decorations were incredible, there were mini sandwiches, little deli rolls, chips with assorted dips, fruit punch (which someone spiked half-way through the party and Esme replaced without being seen) and a couple other finger-food types of things that I really didn't want to smell. Human food tastes like dirt to me, therefore I avoid it as much as possible.

Music was my responsibility. I hauled all of my records down from my room and played the role of deejay all night. I was more than happy to do the job, as it got me in one corner and unable to have the Ed-girls try to pull me away. I also strategically placed a fan behind me to help blow any human scents away from my nose, but the nose plugs Carlisle made for us worked surprisingly well.

Alice flitted about the room, making casual conversation, being friendly in ways that would probably end come Monday. She dragged Jasper along with her, grumbling. I knew that despite his appearance of looking like he didn't want to socialize, he was constantly emitting his aura of calm onto others. Always making things go smooth. Rosalie and Emmett were curled up into each other on the couch, ignoring everything and everyone. Not that I was surprised. In fact, I found it quite humorous because it was quite the typical teenage thing to do. I did cause a little bit of gossip, however, not that Rosalie would care. I think she preferred to be the center of the gossip rather than on the outside of it.

The most interesting thing happened when some idiot decided to take a running head start and grab the hanging lamp in the middle of the living room, hanging from it and yelling like a chimpanzee. It was fitting, this was about what he looked like- a big, heavy, hairy kid with overalls and a green shirt and heavy boots with dark hair. It didn't last long before the lamp caved under his weight, sending them both crashing down onto the coffee table below him, smashing it into pieces. One of the pieces splintered his back, causing a semi-bloody mess all over the boy and the floor.

All of us vampires tensed immediately, and before anyone noticed, Esme and Carlisle were in the room as well. Jasper stood behind Alice, who seemed almost as though she was holding him back. His thoughts were clear- he could see every drop of blood dripping off the boy- and it looked good- but he didn't want to disappoint Alice. Alice wasn't tempted in the slightest. Thank Carlisle for those noseplugs. Rosalie and Emmett were somewhere in the middle- trying to decide how to go after the boy with all these people in the room and at the same time trying to control the urge. I was tempted, but not as much as Rosalie and Emmett were. Esme was completely calm, and she started ushering people out the door and to their cars. Carlisle immediately hovered over the boy and offered to help him, waving us away behind him.

Carlisle's obvious hand gesture seemed to work like a magic charm. Or more like a father shaming his children. Either way, any temptation we had felt before was gone now. We all felt foolish now. And stupid for thinking we could throw a party in our home without Esme and Carlisle in the room in the first place.
What a dumb boy. As I was thinking it, so was Rosalie.
"How dumb are you? You thought that lamp could hold your fat body? My ceiling is made of steel?" She practically yelled at the poor kid.
"Rosalie." Carlisle cautioned.
"No wonder you have no friends." The kid told her back flatly, and the rest of us laughed. Rosalie didn't find it so funny. At least it ended the conversation.

Carlisle patched the kid up, it didn't need much more than a few bandages, no stitches or anything. It wasn't much more than a few scrapes and bruises. Then we sent the kid on his way with some apologies and some party food. He was happy by the time he left, and we were more than hospitable. We all knew that wouldn't be happening again any time soon, though.

It didn't take long to clean up after the party was over, including the ceiling/table mess. Our super speed comes in handy for times like these, I suppose. Of course, we all went out and hunted that night. It was a must. Aside from that, everything has been calm. The rest of the weekend has flown by, and I am not so eager to get back to school. I guess I will be back when I have more to write about. That's it for now.

Attention

by Jessica L

School Monday was everything we expected it to be and more. The talk about the Cullen party was circulating the hallways long before we walked in the doors, and probably even before the doors were open. More than likely, people were talking about it all weekend long. Our behind-the-scenes existence was not going to happen in this town.

Sometimes that happens, of course. It is hard to remain low key when people see you for even half of what you truly are. You develop some sort of a celebrity status. Look at the Volturi, for example. They started out as a small clan, and as they acquired members and wealth, people took notice. Even as they gained respect from other vampires, the humans noticed them too. Their castle is looked at like a historical landmark, and they are considered to be from a great lineage, with great wealth. Of course, no-one realizes it is the same vampires from the same generation, they plaster paintings throughout their castle of new generations every few years, and give tours to up the hype. Their celebrity status among the humans only adds to their power in the vampire world. Other vampires are also looked upon as wealthy and powerful, but in a lesser degree, and we are always moving, of course. It is dangerous to be noticeable, but sometimes it cannot be prevented or stopped.

I think we made that mistake in this town. People noticed us, and we exaggerated the problem by throwing the party. The kids noticed our furniture was above grade, we had paintings on the walls in fancy frames instead of just family photos like most families have, and we had the biggest color television on the market, no thanks to Emmett and his love for the thing. It became obvious right away that despite the outside looks of our home, we had money.

I am looking up on the whole thing, and so is Alice. Neither of us are seeing any major problems yet. The kids are in awe of us, and Alice can't forsee anything going bad, so I am not going to worry. The good thing is I don't have to wear those stupid button down shirts anymore. I can wear my regular clothing, and look as adult as I want to. Emmett still wears the plaid though. I still tease him.

The biggest downfall is that people try and talk to us now, which means we have to be extra careful of acting human. We have to breathe even though we don't need the air, always remember to shift our body weight and fidget every few seconds or so, blink our eyes, and simple things like that. Things we would normally do anyways, except that now people look at us a lot more and so we need to be cautious that we don't forget.

Rosalie and Emmett have it the easiest as they usually spend their between-class time with their faces stuck together. They say it is their "teenage act" but I know better. They are just teenagers at heart. Either way, people usually don't like to look at other people making out with each other, it's gross. Alice and Jasper are more low key, but just as deeply in love. It never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, the Cullen fan club is as eager as ever, and they have grown by one member. The new one is shyer, so she doesn't follow me around so much, which is nice, but the four of them are really getting on my nerves. After fourth period today, I caught them stuffing love notes into my locker. I am really getting bored of them, so I decided mean is probably the way to go with these girls. I took the notes out of my locker and stuffed them in lockers of random boys from the basketball team. It's caused a little bit of pandemonium this afternoon, I can't lie. I enjoyed every moment of it, too.

Well, that was my day. I find myself writing more and more since leaving Hoquiam. Maybe I need a new hobby. Books are getting boring. I guess I will be back soon.

Fading

by Jessica L

Its been a couple of months since the party, and things seem to have died down a bit. The Cullen kids, as we are most often referred to, are no longer the main source of gossip among our peers at school. We take up the majority of our lunch table with our bodies and our backpacks, and ignore any occasional fool who sits anywhere we can't cover up, so our group of five is pretty much left alone. Alice makes isolated conversations with students here and there in class, but we keep to ourselves in the hallways, just like we usually did. For the most part, things are normal, as if the party never happened, and the gossip never got out of control.

Funny how humans work. Something will be the center of focus for a while, but it gets boring and something new comes along to take its place. We were sort of like that. Carlisle had considered moving again, but no-one really wanted to leave so quickly after getting here, and it isn't that bad of a place, really, better than some of the others we have been, so we decided to ride it out. Alice was a main factor in that decision. She couldn't see anything going bad if we decided to stay, so we did.

As far as the little group of girls that followed me around, I got creative with that one. One by one, I got them all matched up with various members of the basketball team. The girls weren't the most popular, but were all fairly pretty in their own sorts, so it wasn't hard once I laid down the ground work. A few notes placed in the right places, a little gossip spread here and there, and it was easy. I had a little help from Alice and Emmett of course. They helped spread the gossip to the right places, get things overheard and so forth.

One or two of the girls still think of me from time to time, like that crush that just didn't die out, but for the most part they are focused on their new boyfriends, making sure they attend the basketball games and show support. It makes things a lot easier for me, I don't have to block out thoughts of myself kissing various girls, or getting put in awkward positions in bedrooms while fathers are downstairs thinking we are going over geometry. Gross. Why girls' minds work the way they do I will never understand, even after thousands and thousands of years, I am sure of it.

At any rate, since we are seniors here, we have to get interested in the whole college thing. Rose and Emmett are going to attend the Mountain State right here in town, and Alice and Jasper are going to go to the bigger Marshal University half an hour away. I have absolutely no idea where to go. I am taking it a little more seriously because it might actually provide me with some education I haven't seen multiple times already. It could possibly be interesting. Do I want something new and exciting? Or do I want something traditional and established? I am so unsure, but I am used to that feeling.

I spend my life not knowing what I want or how to go about getting anywhere in particular. I follow the rest of my family along, while they have their matches, their identities, and what they feel makes them them but here I sit, unsure of who I am, bouncing from hobby to hobby and book to book and wondering who I am and what is missing. The worst part is that there is no end in sight. And what happens if the end does finally come? Do I burn in hell? Surely there is no heaven for a monster like me. Especially not after the things I have done in my life. I suppose the only thing I can do is keep searching for whatever it is I am searching for. Perhaps I will find it in college. Ha. At least it will be a new experience, as we do not get many of those when you live as long as we do.

I suppose that is all for now. Time to go downstairs and find something to do to take my mind off of myself and my endless wallowing. I seem to like that word. Wallowing. It encompasses me. Oh well. Until another time.

Unexpected

by Jessica L

Just when we thought everything was going good. Things were back to normal. The kids at school had lost interest in us, for the most part. The town as a whole had bigger things to worry about in this up-and-coming era. We were in the middle of Summer, and things were easy.

Summer is great for the Cullens because we can go do whatever we want to do, and nobody notices. No-one wonders if we miss school when the sun is out. No-one cares if our clothing looks too trendy because Alice orders them all out of fancy magazines from New York. (It's her new hobby, and we all comply- it's better than the 'trends' some of these local kids wear these days.) No-one even cares if we ignore everyone except each other. They all are too busy doing their summer fun activities, and keeping busy making sure they are living each moment to the fullest- because summer is short for humans, after all.

This summer hasn't shaped up to be so good for us so far. And we are learning a lot about ourselves we didn't already know, thanks to the recent events. Let me back up and start from the beginning. It started with Alice's vision.

We had all gone up to a creek in Monongahela National Forest, which is usually a good spot for some hunting and we made a day out of it. If the Cullen Family went on picnics, this would be our version- a day hunting together in the woods, playing games and being silly.

While we were gone, Alice got a vision of a small group of local boys breaking into our house. She recognized them as some of the trouble makers from the high school. She said it looked like a spur of the moment decision, and little or no planning took place before they took off for our house. We had almost no time to get there. Even with our speed, we were about an hour away because once we got out of the forest we had to drive east on the roads in broad daylight, which meant we had to stick to the speed limit at least somewhat because traffic in this town was horrendous. You can only weave through cars so quickly when they are packed together.

By the time we got to the house, five boys dressed in ripped jeans, with black shirts, black gloves and black lumberman's jackets on were already inside the house. How cute, they match. This made us wonder how dangerous they were. Were they armed? This wasn't a problem for us so much as for them. We stood outside, collecting our thoughts and debating our next move. We had things in our house that implicated what we are. We had obviously blown our cover. Or had we?

I decided our best bet was to go in there, be authoritative, and figure out what they knew. Carlisle thought that it was a bad idea to hold them here while we tried to learn what they knew, as they could grow suspicious. Alice couldn't see anything, since we were all so undecided, and it was making her head hurt. Then we got the idea that saved the day.

"I can just make them feel calm while Edward sorts out their heads. If they know too much, we have little choice but to deal with them as best as we can. If they don't know anything, then we can either let them go or call the cops for breaking and entering. Your choice, Carlisle." Jasper said. We all stared at him for half a second, surprised because he is normally so quiet, and he had a really good idea. Not that any of us wanted to "deal with them as best as we can," but making them calm was the best option we had.

We went in there without making a single sound. Between Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and I, we were able to round up the boys without them seeing our immense strength or speed and gather them in the living room. Esme gave them the lecture of a lifetime while Jasper emitted his soothing emotions. It distracted them from noticing that I was staring at them all, one by one, like a wierdo while I sorted through their thoughts. I didn't know them well enough to tell whose thoughts were whose, so I had to do it this way.

The only thing four out of five of them were thinking was that they were in really deep trouble. Most of them had a lot of four letter words running through their heads related to that fact. The leader, however, had worse thoughts. He had gotten into Carlisle's office hoping for some money, a cash box or some jewelry in a safe or something. Instead he found Carlisle's medical journals, the ones Carlisle had collected himself. These journals documented our medical histories, checkups and any minor injuries or issues any of us have had since becoming vampires. It would be quite the interesting reading selection. The leader was under the impression that he had discovered we were vampires- which of course, he was right- and that he was going to tell the world and get rich, with Carlisle's journals as proof.

I pulled Carlisle aside and told him what I knew. This was bad. This was very bad. We had a lot to deal with here, and obviously, we couldn't let this kid go home to tell the entire world and let him- and us- be destroyed by the Volturi. I could tell instantly from Carlisle's thoughts that he didn't want to harm a young boy who had parents at home worrying about him though, either.

So now what? Do we face his destruction- or ours?

TO BE CONTINUED...

Unexpected Part 2

by Jessica L

CONTINUED from Unexpected part one....

I pulled Carlisle aside and told him what I knew. This was bad. This was very bad. We had a lot to deal with here, and obviously, we couldn't let this kid go home to tell the entire world and let him- and us- be destroyed by the Volturi. I could tell instantly from Carlisle's thoughts that he didn't want to harm a young boy who had parents at home worrying about him though, either.

So now what? Do we face his destruction- or ours?

It was obvious that we were going to have a problem on our hands either way. We needed to move quickly before we had a problem with all the boys. Carlisle had the same thought right when I did.

"You boys can go." He told them.

They started heading for the door as quickly as they could, with fleeting thoughts of Esme's lecture running through their heads. The leader had bigger plans on his mind.

"You- stay." Carlisle said firmly but kindly to the boy. Panic ran through his mind as he looked to the others, but they were already through the door, and I had a grip on the back of the boy's shirt, although I wasn't sure he realized it yet, I had grabbed it so quickly.

Once we had him alone in the room, we assigned Rosalie and Esme to guard over him while the rest of us discussed our options. We didn't have many. We couldn't kill him, he was just a kid. None of us were up for that. We couldn't just let him run away, either, because then we would all end up dead, him included. We probably couldn't trust him, and we couldn't convince him he was crazy, because just looking at us could make anyone who read those journals put two and two together. Our winning idea was mine, ultimately, but I wasn't proud of it. It stemmed from my past, and it made me feel horrible. The others were a little more optimistic about it. We were going to scare him into staying quiet.

The plan could be executed fairly easily. We were all in agreement, so we put it into action right away. As soon as we all got into the same room again, the boy spoke. Eager to make sure he kept himself alive, it seemed.

"I know what you are, and if anything happens to me, everyone else is going to find out, too." He said. His voice shook with fear. I laughed at him.

"You didn't tell anyone else about us, and you have no proof of what you THINK we are. But nice try." I told him, still laughing.

"That's what you think." He said, trying not to look afraid.

"No, I can read your mind." I told him,stepping closer. "Don't push me."

I heard his heart pick up in pace. Emmett must have heard it too, because he chuckled behind me. For the first time in a long time, Jasper wasn't letting out his soothing powers.

"You're lying." The kid said.

"Let's find out." I said. He didn't respond, but I picked up on his thoughts.

"Right now you're thinking this is crazy. And you're scared. But please don't pee your pants this is a nice rug, the restroom is down the hall on the left." I motioned the way with my hand. He stared at me dumbstruck and blinked several times. "And if you even think about that window again remind yourself that we can get outside faster than you can."

He walked quickly to the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

"That door won't help you much. We expect you back out here in five minutes or we're coming in." Emmett called.

He was back out in two and a half minutes. We were all sitting around casually in the sofa seats and chairs when he got out, grinning widely enough to show our big, white teeth. He got the message, and shuddered.

"Sit, relax." Jasper hissed at him mockingly. The kid quickly picked an empty spot and sat down.

"So here is how it is going to be." Emmett started. We all sat and listened patiently.

"You- my friend- are going to keep your mouth shut. We will know the second you even make up your mind to tell anyone- ANYONE- about who or WHAT you think we might be. And we will be waiting for you. You won't survive to tell your tale. You can go now." Carlisle's voice held none of the patience, understanding or kindness it usually bears.
The kid was out the door almost as fast as one of us could have been.

For the next week, we haunted him in his sleep. Literally. At a different time every night, one of us vampire boys silently sneaked into his bedroom and hovered over him, breathing on him until he realized we were there and woke up. It was terrifying for him to realize we had such access to him, even in his own house. Even when he'd scream, and his parents would come running down the hall, we were gone before they got there. He realized over the course of the week that there was nothing he could do and no-one he could tell, no-one who could save him.

As hard as it was for me to scare some poor, defenseless boy, I knew it was for his protection, and ours. I will try and take what I can from it, and move on. For now, we are staying in Charleston, at least until it is safe to move. We aren't sure what to do next. Alice doesn't foresee any problems, but just like it started, things can change in the blink of an eye, a last minute decision. We will keep our eyes open from now on. We will hunt in smaller groups. We will take more measures to protect ourselves and others. That is all we can really do. I just hope it isn't too late.

Easy Going

by Jessica L

Things have been going much smoother lately. It seems like scaring that poor boy was so long ago, it is hard to believe that was the last time I've written. To catch up on current events, we popped in on the trouble-making boy every now and then, trying to keep the thought fresh in his mind that he needed to keep quiet. Over the course of the summer, I monitored his thoughts and if it ever seemed like he was starting to get too comfortable, or feel too safe with the idea of telling someone about us, we paid him a surprise visit. It worked like a charm.

Rosalie and Emmett have been attending Mountain State University, like they planned, and Alice and Jasper are at Marshall University. Being the loner that I am, decided to take a year off to go do some travelling, but eventually ended up joining Alice and Jasper at Marshall. People don't really notice us there, as the classes are large, and the campus is diverse. We are just your typical college students to them, with our faces stuck in books, pale and withdrawn from too much studying, as far as anyone would assume. Since Alice and my last name is different from Jasper's, people usually assume that Alice and I are brother and sister and she is his girlfriend. We don't offer the foster story, and people really don't get nosy. It is nice to be with an older crowd that at is too caught up in themselves to worry about others. Or at least pretends to be.

Rosalie and Emmett are planning another wedding. It is going to be a big, gaudy affair in Paris this time. We will all fly out there, but they have been travelling back and forth to set things up. I swear Rosalie never gets worn out. At least this time she has managed to be gracious about the whole thing, and with Alice helping, it has been quite entertaining for the three girls to plan. We all have a week off in the spring, which is exactly when Rosalie plans on having the wedding. She wants lots of flowers blooming and tree blossoms for the photographs. Even Emmett is excited, despite the fact that Alice has picked out a light blue tuxedo with a big, ruffled shirt for him to wear. It is supposed to match the flowers perfectly, whatever that means. Girls.

When I'm not busy vocalizing how glad I am that I'm not Emmett in his powder blue suit (which usually lands me in a wrestling match in which Jasper gets involved to referee, because it is such a close match between Emmett's strength and my mind reading), I am usually studying. I actually get to take classes now that I haven't taken a million times already. College finally has something to offer me that high school did not. My favorite classes, of course, are humanities and philosophy. I love learning how how people think, why perhaps they think why they do, and how they lived the ways they did. It is incredible when you combine these classes with my innate ability for understanding the human thought process. When you can read minds, it brings philosophy to a new level.

Homework gives me something to do at night, at the least. I am usually a favorite among my professors, naturally. This tends to happen when everyone else in your house has other ways to spend their dusk hours and you are trying to kill time. My papers are always long, well thought out, and above par. I go beyond what is expected of me. In fact, now that I am thinking about it, I just got an idea for tonight's assignment. I should probably get started. Who knew- Edward, drowning his sorrows in schoolwork. I feel like a nerd. I wonder how long this will last? If I am lucky I can stretch it out a decade or so. Then again my luck never seems to take me far. Anyway, that is it for now. Be back when I have more to talk about.

Manipulation

by Jessica L

Things are pretty boring these days on the college front. I have been attending classes, hanging out with Alice and Jasper on campus, and being a regular guy. It is very weird to be looked at like everyone else. This is the first time since my creation- since any of our creation actually- that we haven't turned any heads. People really don't notice us in any odd way. It is hard to get used to, almost like losing a part of your personality.

The women here are all over me also, but not in the obsessive, girly way the high school group I had to deal with earlier was. These women are older and more direct, more intense. I have learned how to get certain things from them, such as if I need access to the library after hours, or a coffee for the professor when I don't have any money on hand. It surprises me how often a professor will just pick a student out of the front row and order them to leave class to fetch them a coffee or a water. I stopped sitting in the front row a month or two into the first semester.

Anyway, at first I felt bad for manipulating women like this, and then I started dissecting it further. I wondered why I was able to do this. None of the others seem to do it and I wondered if it was a power unique to me. I didn't want to tell anyone what I was doing, however, as it didn't seem very nice. I wasn't really forcing anyone to do anything. I was merely leaning closer to the woman, making sure their heart beat faster and their ability to think started getting fuzzy, and then I asked for what I wanted. It usually worked. The first few tries were trials. Practices. Then I knew what I was doing. The women seem more than happy to oblige to my needs.

After a while, my curiosity about the whole thing got the better of me, and I couldn't keep quiet about it any longer. I finally confided in Carlisle about what I was doing. I tried to read his thoughts as I was telling him about my adventures, but all I was getting from him was surprise. Then imagine my shock when he started laughing. He actually laughed at me.

He said that he was surprised that it took me so long to figure this little trick out. It was the oldest vampire trick in the book. Human manipulation. It sounded horrible when he said it, of course. Then he really knocked my socks off. He said the Denali sisters were true professionals at it. They manipulated men like an art form. In fact, their exploits with men caused the Denali sisters to grow quite fond of men in general, which gave them a love for the human kind, and in turn, a sense of guilt when they fed on humans- especially the men they found to be so amazing in the first place. I had heard the short version of that story, but this version was much better.

Carlisle went on to say that there were always times when vampires needed to use a little sense of "charm" to get their way with the humans. Sometimes, if he had a particularly difficult patient it came in handy. The trick was to know the difference between when to use it and when to use your conscience. Carlisle was also surprised that I hadn't discovered this sooner, but after some contemplation on the matter, he figured that my lack of interest in the opposite sex probably distracted me from trying to manipulate them, or ask them for anything. Therefore I wouldn't have discovered this neat little trick.

The funny thing is that Carlisle is going crazy trying to document all my stories, asking me every detail about every time I've used any form of persuasion on a human. He finds it truly fascinating to combine the natural ability of vampire persuasion with my extra talent of mind reading. Surprise surprise. Anything to give Carlisle something to study I suppose. Now he has me asking a girl for something silly once a week. Last week I asked this woman at the cafeteria for a free piece of apple pie. I don't even eat. She gave it to me of course, then I had to pretend it was the most delicious thing. All for Carlisle. He got such a laugh out of it. Next week I will be smarter about my choices, but the cafeteria was right there, and the day was almost over. Oh well.

I guess that's it for now. I am tired of writing, so I should probably sign off. I am working on a new song that needs my attention anyway. Better get back to it.

Simple Problems

by Jessica L

Who knew something so simple could cause such a big disaster? Alice, Jasper and I had all decided to take a couple classes together this semester. Nothing major, just two fun electives: photography and art. Alice wanted to take the photography one, and I wanted to take the art. It is astounding how many electives you need for a college degree. Almost half of our college credits end up being electives, it is a rather large waste of money when you think about it, a student could take useless class after useless class and then take only a few meaningful classes to really get the education they need. It must be how the university makes its money.

Anyway, for our art class, we had a field trip to an art museum. It seemed easy enough. I am sure all three of us could have identified every piece of art in the entire building. It wasn't anything new, it was all reproductions of every classic painting, sculpture and pottery work from most major cultures. All the big names were there, Renoir, Monet, Picasso, Cezanne, Chagall, Gauguin, DaVinci. We were pretending to be awed and inspired the whole way through, of course, and it was harder than you might think.

The best part of the entire trip was lunch hour where we all got to sit on the grass lawn outside for an hour in the middle of the day. That's when the three of us managed to slip away for the entire hour without being noticed. We sat on the rented bus and goofed around, out of sight and out of earshot. It wasn't really necessary, but it was a nice break. When the break was over, we all had to resume our tour of the museum.

Some touchy feel-y kid decided that just looking at a Greek vase wasn't enough of a good art-learning experience for him. So he reached out and grabbed it. The professor tried quickly to stop him, and in her haste, the vase fell to the ground and shattered. As most people stared at the two in shock, the three of us saw the action in slow motion. Or perhaps because of our ability to do things with great speed, it just seemed like slow motion.

As the vase fell to the ground and shattered, the professor reached out to grab it. The student- a tall, lanky kid in his early twenties with an oversized backpack on his back- also bent down to grab it, but saw the professor and instead reached out to grab the professor as the vase shattered. Although the initial reflex to protect the professor was good, the professor had no smart reflexes, because she flinched at the student's touch and went the opposite direction, sending an elbow in the student's face. Blood spurted from the boy's nose, all over the front of his shirt and speckling the first few students nearby.

I saw the thoughts before I saw him flinch. The thought was in my mind at the same time. Jasper wanted to go for the blood and so did I. Alice was the one who pulled us both back. It was a split second of hesitation, of doubt. In that split second, she grabbed the front of our jackets and pushed us backward out of the room. No-one else even noticed our movements. They were all too focused on the commotion of the vase and the bloody nose. As quickly as we wanted to go for the blood, we were alert again. Jasper grabbed Alice's hand and bolted for the front door.

Even as I was out of the room I could smell the blood. I looked around the room and noticed my reflection in a mirror a few feet away from me. My perfect vampire vision reflected only a few small droplets of the boy's blood on the side of my face. No human would probably have even seen it. I could not only see it, but the smell was driving me crazy. I dived for the nearest bathroom, and threw my face under the faucet. I dried my face with some paper towels and took a few deep breaths.

Just as I started to get my bearings, the boy with the bloody nose came rushing into the bathroom, holding his nose. A couple of the other male students were huddled around him, helping him. They were debating whether he should go to the doctor. Everything in my world froze at that moment. I couldn't think. My only concern at that time was how many people had seen them enter the bathroom. Could I take all three of them down before they screamed loud enough for others to come running? Could I get out of the bathroom before I was seen? Carlisle would be so disappointed in me.

This was the thought that killed it. Right there. I was sane again in that moment. Carlisle. I ran some more water over my face, and looked at myself in the mirror. How on earth did Carlisle stand being around so much blood every day? I could barely handle one person getting a bloody nose. Good grief. I dried my face again with more paper towels, threw them in the trash basket and walked out of the bathroom. Alice was standing a few feet away from the bathroom door. Her posture was very tense, and her thoughts were questioning.

"I didn't do it." I answered her thoughts. She smiled.
"You had me worried for a minute there." She said.

It was one hell of a day. I think that I will skip field trips for now on. They really aren't that spectacular anyway. That's about it for now. Emmett and Rosalie are still doing their same old thing at their smaller university on the other side of town, only a week left until the wedding. Jasper got roped into being the best man. Glad I got out of that one, considering the tuxedo. It was his turn anyway. Carlisle and Esme are back from Isle Esme and ready for the wedding of the century- again. At least Paris should be pretty. I guess that's it for now, be back later.

Cérémonie de Paris

by Jessica L

Rosalie's Paris wedding was everything she ever could have hoped for and more. Held at the Chateau d’Esclimont in Saint Symphorien, a grand castle on cascading gardens, even my breath was taken away. Which is a lot to say considering I don't technically breathe.

Everything was gorgeous. The flowers were beautiful and covered everything. There were gardens outside for Rosalie's must-have photos, and Alice made sure that the grand hall inside was adorned in plentiful blooms of various sorts. The chairs for the guests were high-backed, red-upholstered fancy looking things, fit for royalty. They matched the long, sheer, red drapery that hung tied back over the tall, floor length windows that covered the far wall. There was no doubt that this was the wedding of Rosalie's dreams.

Aside from the powder blue suits that Rosalie picked out, which matched everything except perhaps the royalty chairs and drapes, yet somehow looked completely pulled together, it was perfect. I was a little surprised, I have to admit. How they topped off their last wedding, I am not sure, but then again I suppose this time they have Alice and her great decorating skills on their side. It was quite humorous to hear Rosalie and Alice arguing with the various wedding planners for the last two months over almost every single detail. Vetoing the wedding planners' every idea. Yet everything looks amazing.

The guest list was small, for such an extravagant wedding. This was a vampire wedding. Not many people could be allowed to know that we could afford such a big event like this. Rosalie and Emmett don't mind, of course. This wedding is purely for Rosalie's entertainment. It is so she can wear a big, fancy white dress, walk down an aisle covered in flowers, eat an extravagantly decorated cake (or pretend to), etc. For Rosalie, it was the best of both worlds this time, last time she got a fancy wedding to show off to the town, this time she got a fancier wedding to show off to her vampire friends and family.

She says one of the perks of being married for eternity is that you should get to relive the wedding and "renew your love" for each other every so often. I see right through that of course. You couldn't possibly renew their love, it is already as deep as it gets. She just wants everyone to stare at her in her dress. Which makes me laugh, of course. Typical Rose. I think we all know, but no-one really minds. Especially Emmett. That man would walk across fire for her, which says a lot since fire is our worst foe.

Anyway, I got out of being the best man, but I got roped into being an usher instead. I got to seat every vampire we have ever met- and a few extra friends who came along as "plus ones"- into rows in the grand room. At least I demanded to wear a black tux instead of blue. There's a bonus. Vampires showed up from around the world- most of them from Carlisle's request, of course, but I have met quite a few of them from my travelling experiences too.

It was interesting when I ushered Aro and his wife to their seats, however. I was careful not to touch Aro. He was overly friendly, which I have heard that he usually is, under good terms. He asked me if I have considered his offer, but did not elaborate on which offer or say anything else. I just stood there for a moment, then took his wife's hand and led them down the aisle to a fairly close row of seats. It would be in poor taste to give a Volturi leader a poor view of the wedding.

Finally, since he was obviously waiting for an answer, I told him blankly that I was enjoying time with my family, and did not see leaving them to be in my future. What he said next was rather confusing and upsetting at the same time, but it was his thoughts that rattled me the most. He said that our futures are subject to change, as I should be very well aware. Then his thoughts shifted to Alice.

I was absolutely unaware that he realized Alice had joined our family, nor did I expect him to know Alice had a special ability. Where he had gained this knowledge from, I had no idea, but it disturbed me greatly. I couldn't just interrupt the wedding to consult with Carlisle about it, and my mind was racing. I shook my head numbly and walked away. As I left the row of chairs I placed Aro and his wife in, I heard him tell me that the offer is always open and he will speak with me again soon. I just kept walking.

It was almost time for the wedding to start. Emmett was already standing up at the front, nodding his hello's and smiling here and there to people. Jasper was at his side. Rosalie was in back getting ready, and Alice and Esme were helping her. Carlisle was with Rosalie, ready to walk her down the aisle. I was up here, ushering with Eleazer, and couldn't even think of abandoning post. Finally, the music started. Pachelbel's Canon in D minor.

Rosalie came up the aisle with Carlisle, looking absolutely beautiful. Alice was behind her in a coordinating bridesmaid dress. I followed with Esme and led Esme to her seat quietly. We sat down together in the front row and watched the ceremony together, Carlisle sitting down after kissing Rosalie on the forhead after lifting her veil at the traditional place in the ceremony. It was all fancy and traditional, and had any French people been there they would have looked at us, with the powder blue suits, the oddly colored eyes, classic traditions and lack of food and thought we were all crazy. But we all loved it. A band played during the reception, we all danced, and everyone enjoyed themselves without pretending to be anyone they weren't. It was very nice.

I got a moment during the reception to find Carlisle and Alice together and tell them about Aro's statement. They both found it as bothersome as I did. There wasn't much we could do about it, however. It was like bidding time, waiting for a predator to pounce. You know they are up to something, but until you know what, you can't defend yourself. Alice is going to be on the lookout, but it won't do a lot of good. In the meantime, we are just going to go about our business in a more cautious nature. Eleazer suspects that they have another talent seeker of their own, someone who has replaced him. This would explain how they know about Alice, I suppose. The Volturi always seems one step ahead.

At any rate, the wedding was incredible, and everyone had a great time. Now we are just lying in wait. And waiting is never fun. So until I have something to write about...I'll be back.

Quiet Worries

by Jessica L

Sometimes when things are too quiet, it's bothersome. Almost irritating. I can't seem to shake the feeling that something is wrong, but Alice can't foresee any problems. Carlisle tells me to let it go. Esme and Jasper are their ever calm, peaceful selves in their own distinct ways. Emmett is his typical self- joking and rough housing and taking it easy. Not much upsets him, but if something does, he takes it down physically, not mentally. Rosalie is too worried about staying on top of her classes to care about much else. For some reason, she seems really into her college courses this semester, and Emmett followed suit willingly. I think she is just bored, and it is too soon for another wedding.

It has been almost a year since my last entry in this journal. It seems like almost yesterday, and yet I cannot believe it has been so long. I suppose when you are a vampire, time passes quickly, and the days are much the same as the day before. There is not much to write about.

After glancing over my last entry, I suppose I should catch up on recent events of the last year, although not much has changed. After the Paris wedding, we spent a few months completely paranoid that we would be receiving a visit from the Volturi. We never heard anything from anyone, least of all Aro, and were starting to calm down.

Then about six months ago, we received a package in the mail, addressed to Alice and I. It was a set of black Volturi robes, one for each of us. Accompanying these were two nicely written letters from Aro, Marcus and Caius together as a group. The leaders of the Volturi. The letters were the same. They wanted to let us know the robes were a gift from them to us, and they wanted to extend an official invitation for us to join them as members of the Volturi. The offer was good indefinitely.

We have not responded, nor did they respond back. Aro sent Rosalie and Emmett a nice anniversary card in the mail, but nothing came with it for either Alice or myself. I do not know whether to be relieved or worried. It is driving me crazy. I do not like being pursued in any form, particularly for something I do not agree with, and this feels like a game I cannot win.

Like I said before, Alice sees things in the future to be calm, and Carlisle thinks I am driving myself crazy for no reason. Carlisle knows Aro better than any of the rest of us, as he spent some time with some fairly peaceful Italian vampires in the early 1700's, and has had a fairly decent relationship with Aro since then. Of course, Aro- more so than Marcus and Caius- is quite personable when on good terms. The other two are tolerable.

Alice says we will never be a part of the Volturi, which I should find comforting, but even that brings problems. The Volturi does not like to be told no, nor do they like to be ignored. I am worried that they will see this as a slap in the face. I suppose I will do as Carlisle and the others suggest and just let it go for now. Sometimes having access to people's thoughts truly is a curse. I wish I had never seen Aro's thoughts. Too late now, I suppose.

Other than that, everything else is normal. Time is passing quickly. Things are boring. We are accelerating quickly through college, and it is starting to bore me. We will be moving on from this town soon, as we have been here almost five years, and five years in one place for a vampire is too long. We pushed our luck in Hoquiam. We haven't decided where to go next, but when the semester ends we will definitely be packing up. We won't be keeping our house here, though. It isn't like our Forks house, where we felt at home the second we got there and never wanted to leave. I hope Carlisle was right when he said we would return there one day. I am eager to go back in a couple of decades or so.

I suppose I should end this for now. I have been neglecting some things around the house. I promised Esme I would play her song for her. I have a paper due in Literature this week. Jasper and I are supposed to go hunting. So sitting around sulking isn't going to get me anywhere. I guess I'll be back.

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