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by
Jessica L
Things have been interesting around here lately. I have given up on the way things used to be between my former self and my new self. The things I have done during my travels and time abroad have changed me forever. My fears of what I am- who I am- have manifested themselves and I have allowed myself to become my own worst enemy. I am battling that every day and working hard on moving past the things I have done so that I can be a better Edward. Carlisle has complete faith in me, naturally. How he can even welcome me back into his home I do not understand. That man is truly the saint everyone says he is. He has become more of a father to me than ever before.
We have moved again, and found a new home in Rochester, New York. It is nice here, I suppose. Another place, new faces, like always. I am used to it. Carlisle and Esme are pretending to be brother and sister in public here, rather than husband and wife, which causes some strain on their daytime hours, but we manage. We are a family, after all. Carlisle is working during the day most days anyways.
Esme has been quite impressed by how fast I have learned to play piano, to have something positive to say, at least. I have gone from playing piano to composing my own songs. Writing music and then playing it out has been a great outlet for me. It lifts some of the dark feelings and makes me feel as though I have a talent at something, a purpose. I have even started writing Esme a song of her own, although it isn't nearly finished.
That isn't the interesting part of my life, however. What is interesting is that we found a half-dead girl lying in the alley. Well, Carlisle wanted to save her of course. We thought some thugs had roughed her up and left her for dead, but they didn't do the job quite right because she wasn't dead enough. She was fighting for her life. She was quite the fighter, in fact. Rosalie Hale, the most beautiful girl in town. I had to hear all about it in her thoughts as she lay bleeding on the pavement. She couldn't believe that she was dying, so young, so beautiful, without a child, without a family of her own. Jealous of some girl and her baby, jealous of everyone who had what she didn't even though she was more beautiful than most and she knew it. She coveted her own beauty.
Her beauty was half of the reason I wanted to leave her lying there. Surely someone was going to recognize her. We were going to have to move. Leave town. I knew the second I suggested leaving her there that Carlisle had already made up his mind. Her change didn't take long though, and soon we were on our way to find our new home.
Rosalie didn't like me. She mistook my wanting to leave her for dead as not liking her, and added to that the fact that I wasn't attracted to her and resented me for it. Not to say she isn't beautiful, because everyone in the free world knows she is. But like every other woman in this world, she means nothing more to me than anyone else.
Carlisle wants me to give her a chance. She is part of our family now, he says. That is fine. My sister, Rosalie Hale. She has already taken revenge on those who left her for dead. The men we thought were thugs were actually her fiance and his friends. Another reason I do not need a mate. If that is love, I can live without it.
How she was capable of murdering seven people- her fiance, the four friends that helped attack her (I will spare the details here)- and her fiance's two bodyguards- without succumbing to the smell of blood, is beyond me. As a newborn, she should have been overwhelmed by it, and gone wild with thirst. She was apparently controlled, and with purpose, however. I was impressed, as I have done similar things in the past. Of course, I am over these sort of inhuman acts, and hopefully this will be the last of Rosalie's. At least now we have something in common though. We both know how it feels to try and right a wrong with another wrong, and still feel wrong.
She has eased up on me a little bit in the past few days, perhaps I should do the same. A little give a take wouldn't hurt anyone. And I will stop reading her thoughts. All of the "Poor Me"s and "I Look Lovely Today"s are wearing on my nerves.
by
Jessica L
I cant help but feel bad for Rosalie. She is so sad, so lonely. I thought I was having a hard time. She keeps thinking of the family she will never have. The little boy with curly hair, and her best friend, who was the boy's mother. These two seem to have been very close to her, and she is not only jealous of them and their love for one another, but she longs for what they have. She wishes she too could have a child.
Vampires become infertile once their bodies take on the change to immortality. Carlisle has explained this to her in full already, several times. When your body changes, everything stops. Your heart stops, your veins stop pumping blood, and a woman vampire's body stops going through its monthly cycle. No cycle, no period, no fertility. No baby.
This was the hardest thing for Rosalie to adjust to. Perhaps the only hard thing for Rosalie to adjust to. She loved her new looks, the way vampirism enhanced her beauty. She loved the speed, the agility of our kind. She didn't even mind the thirst, the agonizing thirst. She had fairly little trouble feeding off of animals, although I have to admit, for a woman she is a great hunter. Esme hunts like a timid girl. Rosalie hunts like it is a sport, a game. She anticipates it, enjoys it. Then again, she is the competitive type.
Her depression seems to give us a connection though. Although she still seems bitter that I am not attracted to her, among other things, we have gotten past that somewhat and seem to get along a little better. At least, we do not completely hate each other anymore. So I would like to say we are making progress.
I have finished Esme's song. She loves it, of course. I am more critical of it, but Esme says that is only because it is my piece, and I am going to criticize my own work more harshly than anyone else. Even Carlisle enjoys listening to it. I play it every night. It helps pass the time, and I tend to run out of things to do and get bored with myself.
I suppose I should close the book on tonight, and come back another time, as I am due for a good long walk. Perhaps some scenery and fresh air will do me good. Rosalie still insists on wearing her perfume from her human life, and my vampire sense of smell just cant stand it. It's some flowery, musky thing from some expensive store that her fiance bought her as a gift, and she can't bear to part with it. I understand, it just smells awful. In fact, the more I think about it, the longer a walk I think I might take. A good hunt might do as well. I could use a break from the Cullen house for a few hours.
by
Jessica L
At the least you could say Rosalie is happy now. Esme says I am doing better now, too, although I like to think I am still wallowing in my self-pity. Why I let myself get me down, I am not sure, but I do.
Anyways, we have added a new Cullen to the bunch. It was a rather interesting story. We were out hunting, the four of us, Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle and I. Esme was hanging back, letting Carlisle catch her something, like usual. Rosalie was going in for the kill on something in the distance. I wasn't really paying much attention to her, because a bear was in my peripheral view and I was going to sneak up on it. Bears aren't really my preference but they are abundant in these woods and some days you just have to go for what you can get, and have fun with it. Yes, I do have fun some of the time!
Before I could even read it in her thoughts, Rosalie was screaming for Carlisle. I didn't understand, as it took forever for me to read her thoughts. We huddled around her, and she was cradling a bloody human in her arms. He had curly hair and was tall and strong looking, but not much else about him was discernible. He had obviously been attacked by something, a bear probably.
Finally, I realized I couldn't read her thoughts because was because she had been so far away. She had gone so far out, that she had to carry this boy to us- to Carlisle. Scanning over the many things running through her mind, I realized she had brought this boy over a hundred miles in hopes to find Carlisle. It had taken all her effort not to finish him off and drink his blood in the process. An image of Henry, the small baby boy with curly hair and her best friend, Vera, also kept flashing through her mind.
She begged Carlisle to save him. How could he refuse? Carlisle did his best, and of course, was successful. So now we have a new vampire, only two years after Rosalie joined us. Our family keeps growing and growing. At least now I have a hunting partner. Not that Rosalie isn't a good hunter, but Emmett has something to offer. Ironically, his favorite hunting subject is bears. He plays with them. Payback? Its funny to watch.
Its also nice to have a brother around. It helps to pass the time. He took to the vampire life like it was the best thing that ever happened to him almost. Rosalie and Emmett are obviously soul mates. Again with the soul mates. It makes me wonder if there is ever going to be anyone out there for me. I am getting frustrated just thinking about it.
Emmett just threw a football at my head. I think I should go wrestle him to the ground. He knows he is stronger than me, especially as a newborn, but I can read his thoughts, which make our matches very interesting. Time to have some fun!
by
Jessica L
The wedding fell upon us like a day none of us will ever forget. When I say none of us, I do not just mean the Cullens. I mean the entire town. It was a beautiful ceremony, which left many in tears. It was an incredible reception. There were flowers everywhere- white lilies with pale blue and light purple roses. Most were brought in from other cities and towns to make sure there were enough to cover everything. It was decadent and fancy to say the least.
The cake was five tiers high, each of a different flavor, and the style was exquisite. It was white and round, and covered in flowers that matched the decor. Even the spaces that didn't have flowers over it was decorated with dots, frosted ribbons and other extravagant decoration. The cake was beautiful and extreme.
Of course the entire town was there. This was probably the worst part of the whole thing. Being around a bunch of humans the most of the day, as the affair took up most of the afternoon and evening. The smell tends to burn your throat with an aching thirst, and the more humans you are around the more unbearable it gets. Rosalie insisted it be a huge event, however, and this meant that the entire town attend. So we all went on a huge hunting trip right before the wedding and dealt with the thirst. To be honest, we were so busy with everything, it wasn't too hard to shove the thirst to the back of our minds and deal with everything wedding related. Rosalie's wedding was like a circus- a million things going on at once.
The band played perfectly and it was obvious that no expense was spared in the quality of the table cloths, the napkins or the silver. The wedding was the talk of the town, and had been for weeks. In fact, this caused quite a problem for the Cullens.
To be fair, it wasn't only the wedding, but our presence lately had caused a stir in town because our growing "family" and its oddness was starting to bother people. We had tried to remain low key for most of our time here, but the high class wedding blew that plan out of the water. Any last threads of normalcy we had left after Rosalie and Emmett joined our group were gone once we threw their fancy ball-style wedding.
We decided it was time to pack up and move. Carlisle says he knows of a great place on the other side of the country. We were going to be west coast vampires for a while. There is a fairly uncrowded area of Washington called Hoquaim, where it rains and stays cloudy more often than not. This sounds like a great place for us to settle down for a while.
We will need to pack quickly, as the buzz around town is growing rapidly about where our money comes from and why we are all so odd, why we act certain ways and where Emmett came from especially. Apparently our cover story regarding Emmett wasn't as good as we thought. In fact, I should probably get busy packing now, as Esme might try and help, and I don't want to hurt her feelings if she doesn't pack my books just right. I am a little particular about the way I like them packed, as we have moved so many times now. I am getting used to it. So until another time then.
by
Jessica L
The Council sat before us, solemn and brave, and I could read their thoughts the moment we stepped into the room. We had no idea what to expect from this meeting, but they were even more nervous than we were. All four of us were in attendance, and Rosalie and Emmett were under strict rules to stand in the back and keep their mouths shut. The last thing we needed was for either of them to let their tempers sway this conversation, although from what I could tell, they were both too scared to say anything anyways.
The council had far more than four members, although it was hard to tell exactly how many of them there were- ten or twelve perhaps? All of them were men, most of them were older adults, a few seemed around my age, or at least my "human" age. The focus seemed to be around three of them in the middle however. These were obviously the important ones. Quil Ateara, Levi Ulley, and of course, Ephriam Black. Ephriam Black is the tribe's leader, or Chief. He is the one we were here to speak to today.
The other two flanked his sides as though ready for a fight at any moment. Reading their minds I could tell they were both wolves. They were thinking about how long it would take them to "phase" into wolf form and attack should things go badly during our conversation. At least they were still thinking of it as a conversation. What I found most interesting was that they could not read each other's thoughts, as I previously thought. Perhaps only in wolf form, then? Odd.
Ephriam Black led the conversation by demanding that we leave the area immediately. Carlisle insisted that we meant no harm and we wished to stay. Ephriam seemed thrown off by the color of our eyes- looking from one of us to the other constantly- and I stepped forward and took advantage of that immediately.
"As you can tell, our eyes are not blood red like others of our kind," I said,"That is because we do not hunt humans like others do." I told him, motioning for Carlisle to continue, hoping he had picked up on what I was trying to tell him with my words. Carlilse was smart, and he didn't miss a beat.
Carlisle instantly stepped forward to match me, shoulder to shoulder. "We survive only on the blood of animals, which is why our eyes are golden. We refuse to hunt humans, because we refuse to be like the others. We will never harm a human being, nor would we want to. We are this way only because death was not ready to take us. It is what we our, but it is also our choice not to cause harm with it as well. We wish to stay here, and promise you no harm will come in staying. No one will ever find out we are different from any other human, as that is a condition of our staying in existence."
Ephriam looked at each of us slowly, contemplating Carlisle's words, then spoke. "What guarantee do I have that if we allow you to stay, no one will be harmed?"
Carlisle's answer was simple. "If we harm a human, you may destroy us. As you know what we are, so we know of you as well."
Murmurs and whispers flew through the room, but Ephriam said nothing for quite some time. I read his thoughts, but mostly he was contemplating what we were compared to what he was. When his pack phases, they hunt on animals. They do not age. They are not all that dissimilar from us. But if Carlisle is lying, and we do harm humans, then we are the horrible creatures they have learned about and are very different from their pack indeed. He was debating starting a war with us or letting us stay. He was already certain we would not leave freely, although Carlisle probably would have rather left than caused a war with a pack of wolves that could have destroyed his family. It took him a few minutes, but he made up his mind.
"I offer your family a truce, a treaty if you will." He said.
"I'm listening." Carlisle responded.
"On the condition that you or any member of your family should never bite any human, you may stay." Ephriam told us, eyeing each of us one by one.
"Of course." Carlisle agreed.
"There is more," Ephriam added, "None of you are ever to cross the boundary line of the La Push Reservation again. That is our land, and we wish to be left alone. Is that clear?" He shot a pointed look especially to me. If I had blood in my system I was sure my cheeks would have turned bright red by now.
"Absolutely. And we have one condition as well." Carlisle said in his professional doctor's voice, admitting nothing.
"I am listening."
"You and your council are not to speak one word of what we are to anyone. Even having knowledge of our kind is supposed to mean death to us all by leaders of our kind- it jeopardizes us and you alike."
Ephriam looked at the men standing around him and then slowly nodded.
"In that case, I believe we are done here." Carlisle finished.
Carlisle turned around and ushered the rest of us through the door and out into the hazy day. We were eager to get back to the campground. Carlisle had already starting remodeling the old house and some of the inside rooms were almost done, so he was going to have us move camp to inside. It was better than camping outside where the wolves might decide to watch us. We have camped many times before, and by now we enjoyed it, but under the cicrumstances we decided now wasn't the best time for sleeping under the stars.
The nice thing about being in Ephriam Black's presence for the afternoon, however, was that I was able to get a feel for his thoughts. I might be able to get close enough to the La Push boundary line to get a read on what he was thinking. I am hoping that as long as we keep to our word, things will be okay. I was sensing a great feeling of relief from all of their members as we were leaving, so I think things will be fine. Only time will really tell, however. Part of me wonders if there will ever really be peace between the vampires and the wolves.
by
Jessica L
Things were fairly peaceful in Washington, and we have spent some time here on our own, without being bothered by anyone before we got an unexpected visit from the Volturi. I had heard of the Volturi from Carlisle, but had never met them before. Esme, Rosalie and Emmett were getting their first meetings as well.
Of course, practically every vampire learns about the Volturi as quickly after being created as possible. There are rules to living life as a vampire, and the Volturi enforces those rules. The Volturi are like the royalty of Vampire kind. They live in Volterra, Italy, and have existed for some three thousand years. Their wealth and power is astounding. Their leaders are Aro, Marcus, and Caius, but they also have a legion of powerful vampires who work at their command as well. They are not to be trifled with nor ignored.
The most important of vampire rules is keeping the existence of vampires secret from human kind. Therefore when we learned of their presence in Hoquiam, Washington, my first thought was that they knew about the Quileutes. This scared me because it put us all in danger of being destroyed. I wasn't sure if the Volturi would care whether or not the Quileutes knew about us before we got there, they knew about vampires, and we were the ones that were there. End of story.
The Volturi have often extinguished many leagues of vampires- from old to newborn- in attempt to keep our secret. They have powerful guards and skilled fighters, and often have no trouble invoking their wrath. Many of them posses great powers and talents unlike any other vampires- they go far and wide to search out special vampires to make sure of that. Of course, these are not particularly kind vampires, they hunt humans. That is not to say they are particularly cruel, either, this is just their way of life. Imagine a world power, with unlimited time and money- then picture that power with the ability to feed on people with precision and speed. This is the true definition of a human's predator.
Jeopardizing the vampire secret wasn't why they chose to visit however. Only the three leaders, Aro, Marcus and Caius chose to come, and they left their wives and other followers at home. This was a good sign, it meant they weren't here for a battle, a trial, or any other sort of confrontation. They met up with Carlisle first, as I was out hunting with Emmett at the time. They sent Rosalie out to find us, and she was nervous and scared when she tracked us down in the woods. At the very least, however, we knew it was only the three of them against the five of us should things go bad.
This is where things get tricky. Aro has a power similar to mine, only where I can read minds close by and can read a person's present thoughts, he has to touch a person in order to read every thought they have ever had. Both powerful but also limited in different ways. Marcus can sense a form of relationship between people, and as far as I have heard, Caius has no powers. Aside from Carlisle's ability to be around massive amounts of blood and Emmett's massive size and strength, I am the only one with an abnormal power.
Once we got back to the house, however, my fears were both calmed and started up again. I could tell by their thoughts that they did not come here for a fight, they came here for another reason altogether...
TO BE CONTINUED...
by
Jessica L
The Volturi- or at least its three leaders- were here in Hoquiam, visiting the Cullen family for the first time since I had been created. Aro, Marcus and Caius were here for a very specific purpose. As vampires, our memories are very acute, so I can recall the conversation with precise detail. Even though it is already over, it still gives me the chills.
Aro was the first to speak, even though I saw the thoughts in his mind before he even opened his mouth.
"Hello, Edward. I am glad you were able to join us. Rosalie, Emmett. It is nice to meet you all. I have met Esme and chatted her a while during the time Rosalie went to find you both." He motioned our direction.
Carlisle motioned for us all to come further into the foyer. We were standing near the front door, assuming defensive positions. To be honest, we were all scared. Emmett and Rosalie were probably more scared than I were, as they had no idea what to expect, and I couldn't exactly tell them what was going on without giving anything away.
We stepped forward together, as though we were a team. I guess by now we are a team. A family. More than ever we are a family now. Carlisle waved us through the foyer and continued into the dining room, where we all took seats at the large, heavy wood table. It was probably a good idea, considering it put space between us all. I needed as much space between Aro and I as possible.
I took a seat opposite him and we all sat down slowly.
"I am sure by now, Edward, that you know why we have come here." Aro smiled at me.
"Unfortunately, I do, Aro." I told him.
I returned his smile with an unfriendly glare. The other Cullens were equally unfriendly with the exception on Carlisle, who is always open-minded, and Esme, who always seeks peace and the good in everyone.
"Aro has come here for something important, perhaps you should listen to his offer, young one." Marcus spoke firmly from the other end of the table. I jumped out of my seat so quickly that the chair I was sitting in slammed into the ground beneath me and broke into several pieces. Emmett swiftly swept to my side in a show of absolute support, even though he had no idea what was going on. Emmett, my friend, my brother, always by my side. I would have to remember to thank him later.
"I have no reason to listen to his offer, as I have already heard it." I responded.
"Perhaps if I could speak to you in private, take a walk, a few moments alone..." Aro offered. I saw his plan the moment it formed. He wanted to touch me, see my thoughts, see why I was so resistant. I wasn't a fool, however, and I wasn't so easily swayed.
"I'd rather not, Aro, if you do not mind. I do not need a few moments, or a few days or years. I know your offer and I enjoy my time here with my family."
"I heard you were rather unhappy living life as a vampire. We were looking to help you relieve some of that unhappiness. Offer you an alternative lifestyle. We have ways for you to use your gift like you have never imagined." Caius stood up from the table and took over the conversation. This seemed to irritate Aro, as he felt he had the situation under control. Perhaps, in reality, no one did.
"I have no wishes to join your coven in Volterra. I am happy here with my family. I do not feed on humans, I try not to use my powers, and usually when I do it serves me poorly. They are a burden on me. They have done me well in only a few instances. There are worse things in life, Aro, and I mean no disrespect, but I am not joining you today or any other day."
I stood in a defensive crouch and allowed him to stare at me for a moment. Rosalie stood up from her chair and stood next to me, and after a brief second Esme and Carlisle did the same. The four of us stood together as a family, while the three of them remained seated at the table, thoughts of doubt flickering through their minds.
"Perhaps you will not always feel that way, young boy. You have much left to see in life. To experience. Your powers will come to be useful, you should harness them. We can help with that. We will leave now, but remember that the offer is on the table. We wish you to join us in Volterra, and we will not forget about you and your extraordinary gift, Edward. Good day to you all. You have a lovely home, Esme. Thank you for welcoming us into it."
They left quickly after that, with a few scattered words of warmth, as Aro is good for pretending to be a friend when necessary, and we were left to ourselves again. All of us were notably shaken. I was the most upset. It was hard to wrap my mind around the fact that the Volturi had actually come across the world to try and persuade me to join their coven. Carlisle explained that while Rosalie had gone to find us, Aro told him that one of the vampires I had visited had gone to Volterra and while traveling there Aro had seen my amazing gift in his thoughts. The only thing more powerful to Aro than his own gift is the possibility of finding other vampires with gifts. The idea of having an army of gifted vampires leaves no room for anyone to fight them, no matter how great the odds. My mind reading ability is truly remarkable.
I am just glad the issue is behind us. Carlisle is expecting for Aro to bring it up again sometime in the future. Aro doesn't give up, he pushes, persuades. I am not too worried, I cannot be persuaded. Any doubts I had about the members of the Cullen family before were quenched when they stood by my side against the Volturi and stuck up for me. Facing their own destruction to keep me beside them is something I never expected from half of them. I suppose I should get some rest. It has been an emotional day.
by
Jessica L
Our visitors are odd indeed, but I am not sure that is a bad thing. I am actually starting to like them both, and for completely different reasons. Perhaps I should start with Alice.
Alice is like a little butterfly. She is tiny, and she flits around from room to room, with energy and focus. She has short brown hair, which is cut in a wild style which seems to suit her. She always seems to know what is going to happen, and prepares for it. I am not sure what to think of her entirely, but she is very friendly and almost drowns me with her friendliness. It is hard not to like her. In fact, it is almost impossible. She and I are becoming fast friends. The only thing that bothers me about her is that there seems to be something lurking on the edge of her thoughts that she seems to want to tell me, and doesn't seem ready to. I see her debating it- should she tell me, maybe, not yet, maybe later. It is driving me insane, but I do not know her well enough to ask what it is she is thinking about. I cannot exactly tell her I read minds.
Jasper, on the other hand, seems to be the other side of her coin. He is the darkness to her light. He balances her out in every way. They are another perfect match, which makes me question so many things I have seen in this short vampire life of mine. And because he is so different from Alice, and yet so perfectly matched for her, we also get along very well. Jasper is struggling very hard to be a "good vampire." It seems almost impossible for him to stop feeding on human blood. I am not exactly sure how long it has been since his last human meal, but he seems to think of it often, especially when we go into town. Alice reassures him constantly, telling him things like, "You won't do anything, it's okay." and "Relax, trust yourself, you aren't going to act on your thirst today." While these statements are a little odd, they seem to calm him. He thinks that she knows what she says, that her words are to be trusted, and he believes her.
Jasper struggles so much- in my opinion at least- because he was a fighter for so long. He spent so much time literally seeking out vampires, destroying them and feeding on humans all the while. It is hard to give up that life. Once you take another's life- vampire or human- it changes you. The more lives you take, the more changed you become. I also think that Jasper struggles because he doesn't have very much faith in himself, but then again, I am not a therapist. I am only Edward, and who am I to say? Either way, his history and mine help me feel a little closer to him, although that might sound a little silly now that I have put that on paper. He was a skilled fighter, and I was a vengeful monster, but at the same time, something inside me feels like he might understand some of what I was feeling when I went through my darkest of days. There was a reason he left that life, after all.
At any rate, they have told Carlisle that they sought us out not as a temporary place to stay, but as a refuge. They wish to stay here, probably permanently, if we will have them. I have no objections to that. I am happy with them staying for some reason. I feel oddly linked to them both. Emmett has already become at ease with them both as well. Rosalie is a little at odds with Jasper from time to time, but she has opened right up to Alice. Alice seems to have a knack for fashion. She is interested in all of the clothing from New York and London, and loves to show Rosalie all of the things she would love to order from the catalogues. They play dress up or whatever it is that girls do in the bathroom with their clothes and makeup. Rosalie seems to really enjoy having another girl around. As I said, Alice practically smothers you in her friendliness. It was hard for even Rosalie to resist.
The Cullens are supposed to be voting tonight on whether or not we would like to have Alice and Jasper stay with us indefinitely. I have a good feeling about it. Carlisle wanted us to have some time to think it over before we voted, but I am not sure any of us really needed much time to make up our minds. Alice and Jasper have won us over. Although Jasper still does that weird commanding us all to be calm thing, they are both really enjoyable to be around for the most part. I will be back to write more after I know what is going on with the vote and everything. For now, I guess that is all!
by
Jessica L
The bond I thought I was feeling with Alice and Jasper- both in different ways and yet both quickly growing- seems to be based on more than just what lies on the surface. The more time they spend with us the more I find out about them, and it seems to me as though I cannot possibly find out more about each of them than I already have
The vote went as well as I expected it to. Alice and Jasper are going to be sharing a room at the end of the upstairs hall, which we never really used before anyways. This big house has plenty of space for them. Alice already has it decorated to her liking, with fabric draped over the windows in a very oriental style that she must have seen in a book somewhere and hanging lanterns she fashioned out of some things she found in shops in town. She is very creative and knows how to make just about any space look good. Her knack for fashion apparently applies to rooms as well. Esme was in love with the room, and they were quickly absorbed in conversation about decorating the new house on Isle Esme.
Jasper and Alice seem to fit in well, although Jasper is not quite as well received as Alice, he enjoys hunting with us boys, and Emmett likes having another person around to pick on and joke with. It seems that the more I have been around them, however, the more I noticed odd things in their thoughts. Alice seemed to get frequent headaches and always wondered things about the future, whereas Jasper seemed to urge calm feelings whenever he felt out of place or out of control in a situation. It started to bother me, and I finally brought it up to Alice.
My conversation with Alice went well, almost as if she saw it coming, and nothing I said caught her off guard. That should have been my first clue. I was telling her things about my past, leading up to it, and then I spilled the beans about being able to read people's thoughts. She took it in stride. Her response was "Well then, it should be easy for you to communicate with other people, considering you already know what they are going to say." That was frustrating, because she was right and wrong at the same time. She sees things so simply, but at the same time, people usually don't say what they mean.
I could see her secret nagging at the edge of her thoughts. She was debating telling me again. "Well, I suppose it's time to tell you then." She said. And then she let the cat out of the bag. She told me she could see the future. The news floored me. I am not sure why, since there were plenty of clues along the way. Between her actions and her thoughts I should have put two and two together. But I have never met another vampire with a special ability before so it took me by surprise.
Her future telling has limits, of course, like my mind reading. She can only tell the future about people she knows, or things she tries to see. So she does not get random visions of total strangers. She has to be searching for something to see it. Or at least she has to know a person to see their future. Also, she can only see the future to the point that a certain decision is made. If a decision is changed, the future is changed. If a decision hasn't been made yet, the future is uncertain and cannot be seen.
She also came clean about how she found Carlisle and the Cullen house also. Jasper and Alice were seeking out a new way of life, a peaceful life, and she got a vision of Carlisle. It makes sense considering that Carlisle is one of the most peaceful vampires in existence. If she had been searching for peace, she would find him, no doubt. We have talked for hours about her power and mine. She told me she saw this in a vision as well, but didn't want to tell me too soon and scare me. I find it funny now that I think about it.
Alice also says that Jasper has something special about him, but that it is better he tells us himself. She wants to tell the rest of the Cullens about her mind reading ability first. One thing at a time, I suppose. I am just glad I am not the only oddball in the family anymore. I am going to support her when she tells the rest of the family about her ability, as she is a little worried. She said she had a vision that when she told them, things went flying in the room and Rosalie was angry, Emmett stormed out, and she couldn't see anything else. I tried to be reassuring, and maybe her visions could be wrong. I guess we will see what happens when it happens. I am also eager to learn about Jasper, although I have a few guesses as to what it is that he can do already.
by
Jessica L
Well Alice's vision was correct- as she knew it would be. We sat down at the Cullen family table, and had a little talk. It went well at first, with Alice explaining that she had something difficult that she wanted to tell everyone, and everyone pledging their support. Then when she said that she could tell the future, there was a full moment of silence. Just silence.
I saw it forming in Rosalie's mind before it happened. The jealousy. She was thinking that now Alice had something over her. Something to make her special. Something unique, even better than beauty. The bowl went flying before Rosalie even had a second to double think it. She looked at the bowl and the next thing I knew, it was shattered against the wall. It was just that fast. After she threw the bowl, she took off out the door, and Emmett followed quickly. It was just like Alice saw in her vision.
The rest of us were still sitting there, stunned by the actions of Rosalie, when Jasper opened his mouth to speak. "I told you they wouldn't accept us here."
She shook her head sadly, as if to agree with him, but her thoughts weren't so sure. I flickered over to Carlisle. He wanted me to go after Rosalie and Emmett, and bring them back to apologize. Talk some sense into their stubborn heads. Esme and Carlisle would explain to Jasper and Alice that Rosalie just had a bad temper and it tended to cool. I hoped Carlisle was right.
I excused myself and exited the room. I heard Esme speaking softly as I wandered out of the house, following Emmett's scent. Each vampire has their own unique scent, as each human does- and is able to be tracked if you know their scent well enough. Rosalie likes to wear perfume which makes her easy to track, but she changes her perfume from time to time, and to be honest, her perfumes usually irritate me, so it is easier just to track Emmett. I found them easily, hunting in the woods. Hunting usually calms us down, brings our ability to think rationally back into focus.
Rosalie grunted at me the second she noticed me. Emmett chucked. Figures. I smiled.
"Nice display of family togetherness back there." I joked. Sarcasm was my strong suit.
"Whatever." Rosalie replied.
"Don't you think they've been through enough? They came here for a family. For some support." I said.
"They don't need my support."
"They dont need your jealousy either." I told her bluntly.
"What do you know?" She picked up a huge boulder and threw it at me. I glided out of her way and it crumbled against the cold ground.
"I know that you think you have to be the best and have the best. Can't she have one thing above you without you throwing a tantrum? I think your beauty should be enough. Besides, her visions cause her enough trouble, she doesn't need you hating her on top of it."
She stared at me a moment, but didn't say anything. After a moment, Emmett spoke up.
"What do you mean they cause her problems?"
"They give her headaches, they can change a lot, she sees things she doesn't want to see. It doesn't seem to be a blessing."
Rosalie thought about that for a moment, kicking a few rocks around. Emmett already had his mind made up.
"We need to go in there and apologize, Rose."
"Exactly." I said.
Rosalie sighed. She knew we were right, but she didn't want to admit it.
"I'll go in there, I'll sit down, and I'll listen. I am not apologizing for anything."
This was probably as good as we were going to get. I looked at Emmett, and he looked at me. We both shrugged our shoulders, and headed inside with Rosalie on our tails.
Once we got inside, I could tell Carlisle and Esme had done a fairly decent job of explaining to Alice and Jasper that Rosalie is like a spoiled girl who never really got a chance to grow out of that "I get everything I want when I want it" phase. They seemed to be taking it in stride. When Rosalie sat back down at the table, Emmett apologized for both of them, which got an indignant little huff out of Rosalie, but Alice smothered that with hugs for both of them.
"I just want you guys to understand how much we love being here! I want you to know we don't mean any harm and I couldn't bear to not tell you guys anymore!" She cast a pointed look at Jasper, but he shook his head.
I looked his way, and could see that whatever it was he had to tell us all, he was certainly not going to tell us now that Rosalie threw her little temper tantrum. Perhaps another time then. Things went a little smoother for the rest of the day, and we were all getting along better by nightfall. Of course, here I am sitting at my desk, the only one without a partner, with nothing else to do but journal, so I'm pouring my heart out on paper while they all cozy up in their beds. But I'm not going to think about that.
Carlisle says that there is someone out there for me. I can only imagine what kind of vampire could fill those shoes. Wow. Hope she likes to read after all the time I've spent with the library of books I've accumulated so far. I guess that's it for now. Be back soon with more.
by
Jessica L
Alice and Jasper fit in really well here with us. They have become true members of our family now. Our ever growing family. Jasper finally told us his secret. If you can call it a secret. By the time he told us, I had already figured it out. He is able to influence the moods of others. He can calm people down, ease their anxiety or anger. I see it in his mind, when he tries to focus on getting them to settle down, getting them to take it easy and think calm thoughts. It works wonders on humans, and it works pretty well on vampires too.
He doesn't use it much, though. Actually, that isn't quite true. He uses it whenever it suits him to do so, he just doesn't use it for anything particularly important. He usually uses it while hunting, so the animals don't feel any fear when he's about to attack, which I think is kind of him. He also uses it when we are out in town, when someone casts him (or any of us really) an awkward glance. It is a useful power in small ways.
Alice's power, on the other hand, are very useful in much larger ways. They seem to have been the lifeline of their goals many times, and as it turns out, Alice's visions came in to be even handier than my mind reading lately. She has gotten several visions of local townspeople up in Forks having some odd reactions to us while we were out and about in town. Some things have been changing, I suppose. Our family is growing with no real explanation. We all look a little odd, and there have been whispers. I have heard some of the thoughts around town.
One of Alice's visions came in to be particularly important. It was of a local teenage girl who had been missing for a while. She had gotten lost while hiking and ended up dead in the woods where we hunt. Apparently a search party will be formed, and the search party is going to happen across some of the dead animals that we have hunted, as well as the dead girl. Talk will start up. The dead animals will not be far from the Cullen house, as sometimes we get lazy and do not venture far from home. Sometimes we do, so the animals will go far and wide all over the woods. This will not be good for us. We never stopped to think that the rotting bodies of deer, bear, and mountain lions would pose a problem for us. Not many girls go missing in the woods.
The girl is a rather popular one at the small school up in Forks. She was pretty and well liked, so we know who she is. I am sure that everyone in town knows who she is, for that matter. I did a quick sweep of the town, and confirmed that she is still in her bed, safe. Alice doesn't believe that she will go missing for at least another week or two, judging by the amount of leaves on the trees. In her vision there were almost no leaves left, and in real life, there are still plenty.
Our plan is to leave Hoquiam before heads are turned in our direction. We will tell people that Esme is homesick for her family, and head in a northern direction. Carlisle has some friends up in Alaska that he says will show us their home for a while, and then we can move on from there. That way when the girl goes missing, we will not be there when the search party is launched, nor when the animals are discovered. Hopefully it will diminish the talk. Alice has faith that it will work. I am hopeful as well, as I have a lot of experience with the human frame of mind. People tend to blame things on outsiders. They will say vagrants came through, hunters, something like that. Even blame it on other animals. I doubt they will look at Carlisle and his family as suspects in the animal killings. In the future we will be more careful, learn to hunt more cleanly.
For now, I must go. Lots of packing to do, and things to clean. We are keeping the Cullen house. Perhaps we can come back here in the future. It is beautiful after all, and we truly feel at home here. It just wont be anytime soon. Maybe we will give it 50 years or so. But for today, Hoquiam is not our home any longer. I suppose all good things come to an end.
by
Jessica L
I hate moving. Of all the parts of being a vampire, leaving the places you finally grow accustomed to and begin to call home is the worst. I have no home, I am a vagrant. Carlisle likes to say that the home is where the heart is, but do vampires even have hearts? Our hearts do not beat, they do not pump blood. So would that even count? Perhaps I am over thinking again, being a downer in my own skin.
At any rate, we have moved on from our home, the one true place since I was human where I really felt at home. I am not even sure why it is that I liked our house in Hoquiam so much, it wasn't necessarily the town, or the people there. Maybe it was the house itself, or the woods, the atmosphere. I just felt home. Either way, it is gone now, for a while at least. We spent the longest time there as anywhere. True, we flitted back and forth, did a lot of traveling in between, so people didn't realize that we stayed the entire time, but we spent a long time there. And now we have lost it.
The girl won't be found for a couple more weeks, so we are hoping to be in the clear as far as that goes, but Alice is going to keep her eye on Forks and the townspeople just in case. Her visions get sharper and sharper the more she practices. I suppose my mind reading does to. The more you use it, the better it gets. We will need her to be at the top of her game in a few weeks in order to make sure we didn't raise any suspicion even though we are gone. We can never be too safe.
We have traveled up to Alaska, to a small area where Carlisle knows a vegetarian coven like ours. The Denali family is made up of the sisters Irina, Katrina (most call her Kate) and Tanya, but they were recently joined by other vegetarian vampires Eleazar and his lover Carmen. Eleazar and Carmen are said to have special abilities, so I am eager to meet them. The Denali coven is considered to be Carlisle's closest friends, people he counts on in his time of deepest need. We have come to them because our move was such short notice we really didn't get a chance to get a place set up or a story straight for our next destination. Visiting the Denali's seems like a nice chance to get a little rest and give us a chance to figure out our next move.
I didn't realize that the Denali sisters were the original succubus' however. They have a fondness for men, in fact, their love for men is what made them stop hunting humans in the first place. They couldn't bear to destroy that which they loved so much. While I find this intriguing and almost humorous, it seems to have backfired on me.
Tanya has developed very intense feelings for me. She is a very beautiful vampire, with her strawberry blonde curls and her full lips. She has a playful personality and is also very loyal and loving. However, I have no ability, nor desire, to love another person- or vampire. I cannot. I do not return her affections, which she has no problem showing me at any time, and I can see that rejection is hurting her feelings.
Even Carlisle is disappointed that I do not find Tanya to be a suitable mate for me. She is an incredible woman, but she is not for me. I am not attracted to her. I am not attracted to anyone- nor have I been in a very long time- I am cold inside, dead. I died becoming a vampire, and I cannot fix that. I feel ashamed that I disappoint Carlisle and Tanya, but I have to be true to myself as well. I must do what is best for myself. So I will drown myself in a little more music, a few more books, buy a couple more cars. There is a Mustang Shelby GT that would look nice in my collection.
Tanya will move on to the next good looking thing to walk her direction, she is a succubus after all- she claims she is the original. And we will all be fine. At least she will. I will be here nonetheless. Fine or not. I am starting to wonder about the fine part. I guess time will tell.
by
Jessica L
Well, as fun as Alaska is, vacations are only vacations, and Denali is not our home. We must move on. We have been considering our options, and it seems that we all agree that West Virginia seems like a nice area to venture into next. Charleston is a fairly small area, with a fairly small population, and nice lower suburbs. The nicest appeal for us, however, is the lack of sunshine there. Charleston is said to be sunny less than half of the year, which is a huge bonus for us.
More important than where we are going, however, is what we are going to say when we get there. We aren't going to travel across the country and move into this city, declaring ourselves to be the seven members of the Cullen family. That right there would throw people off and raise eyebrows. As if we need anymore than our incredible looks and odd demeanor to do that. We have spent a lot of time in the past few days deciding on our new "cover story."
The easiest cover story we could think of- with the help of Carmen and her endless compassion for others- was that Carlisle and Esme were foster parents for the rest of us. This would help explain why they look so young, obviously too young to have a bunch of teenage children. It would also explain why they have so many children and it would play up on Carlisle's humanitarian role as well as giving Esme something to do as far as the public were concerned.
Rosalie has been the biggest piece in our new cover story. It has been very important to her to retain her human last name. I am not sure why she wants to keep it after she just spent the last couple decades as a Cullen, but judging by the thoughts in her head, I understand why it is so important to her to keep it in general. She feels it is important to retain anything and everything that ties her to her human life. The name Hale helps her hold on to her identity, separates her and keeps her special. It also helps her remember that she was human once, that she had something worth living for. She was loved and loveable and able to bear a child. Emmett is slightly bummed by the Hale thing, especially since traditionally he wants to have the same name as her, but like Emmett, he gets over it shortly after the feelings come up.
Since Jasper and Rosalie both look so similar, with the same color hair and tall, lean figures, we decided it would be smarter if they both went by the last name of Hale. Emmet and I would be brothers and Alice would be the newest of the group. We would all have our own timelines of when the Cullens (Carlisle and Esme) had adopted us, in case anyone asked.
The worst part of the entire thing was, of course, that we would all be attending high school again. It would be my third time going through school, and everyone else's second not counting our human school experiences- whatever those might have been. Alice isn't sure whether or not she even attended school in her human life.
I hate school. Don't get me wrong, the learning part I love. However, there is nothing left for me to learn in high school. I am bored there. I cannot socialize, the students are beneath me. Therefore, there is nothing to gain from going except to look normal, fit in, and be sure not to raise any eyebrows.
Ah, well, it is the 1960's and people tend to be experimenting with a lot of drugs these days, perhaps they will not notice so much if I do not fit in so well. Humans can be so droll, they do things that destroy their very fragile lives, never stopping to realize the preciousness of what they have, or appreciate it. Then they stop and marvel in the destruction they have caused- hating it, blaming it on others when it was their faults all along. This is in fact a dreary time for the human race, war, hatred, drugs. I hope it passes quickly for them.
Anyway, I am being a bore again. The dark moods I get in seem to catch me off guard- always. Alice says one day I will read these journals and laugh at the sadness and anger I felt, marvel at how I could have ever been so lonely and lost. I wonder how she could know such a thing. She is not sure, she just sees that I will be truly happy one day. That is something to look forward to. A day of peace. I am sure my pen will be grateful indeed.
by
Jeanne McDonald
When arriving home Alice was waiting in the driveway for us. While parking the car in the garage, Jasper was thinking, "She knows!" I knew he was right. Besides seeing the disappointed look on her face I also got the screaming thought from Alice of "How could you let this happen Edward!" It's not like I had done it on purpose. I didn't go seeking humans for Jasper to hunt. It just simply happened. The bad thing was she was more upset with me then she was with Jasper. Even though she seen everything that occurred, she felt like I should have taken more precautions.
Maybe she was right. I honestly don't know. We got out of the car and she flew into Jasper's arms. She comforted him while the entire time mentally scolding me. I was starting to get really upset. The whole point of this trip was to get my mind off things and instead I come back to being in more trouble then I was worth. However getting upset would get me no where and I knew it. She loved Jasper and it was easier to blame me then it was to blame him.
We got inside the house and everyone was there. Jasper was accepted back with no qualms as to what happened. Emmett made his usual jokes, Rosalie had her usual superior scowl and Carlisle and Esme immediately forgave the incident. While he still felt the guilt of what he did, it seemed much easier now that everyone, especially Alice, had forgiven him so easily. I could hear Carlisle's encouraging thoughts for me not to worry about this and there was nothing I could have done to prevent this. I knew he was proud of how I took care of Jasper when he needed me most. I could also hear Esme's pride & concern for both of us in her thoughts.
I admit I envy Jasper at times. I wish I could be lucky enough to find someone who could love me so unconditionally the way Alice does him. What am I thinking? I'm a monster. There is no one for me.
Well I'm off to catch up on homework. Tomorrow will be the first day back to school since the accident. Maybe something interesting will happen.
