skip to main
|
skip to sidebar
by
Jessica L
School has become an even bigger frustration this time around. There is a flock of girls that has decided to devote itself to me. It is made up of three or four girls, and they are not the most popular girls, but perhaps the second most, as far as cliques are concerned.
I am not really sure how it has happened, I used to frighten people with my looks, and my stare could get a person to turn around and walk in the other direction. These girls, however, find my stare to be enticing. It gives them chills, thrills them. They think I am exciting. I am something to talk about. They follow me from class to class, and even dared to sit with me and the rest of the Cullens at lunch yesterday. I am growing quite concerned.
I can follow all of their thoughts around throughout the day and pinpoint each one. Their various activities range from daydreaming about me in different activities to doodling about me in their notebooks. Mrs Edward Cullen. Mrs. Amy Edward Cullen. Mrs. Cullen. Amy loves Edward. Edward loves Amy. Amy and Edward forever. How many times can a silly human girl think to write the same stupid thing? Apparently a thousand because they can take up an entire notebook. And all of the girls do it, not just the one.
It is gross, actually. I thought Tanya was annoying. This is outright ridiculous. One will be daydreaming about our wedding- especially the romantic kiss at the end (it is very gross to see yourself kissing some high school girl in your own made up wedding by the way), the next girl is thinking about how she wants me to entice her into my bedroom when I ask her over to study (these daydreams are even worse). Of course, I would never ask her over to study.
Perhaps that is another problem. The Cullen house is elusive, and no one has ever been inside it. The high schoolers are starting to talk about it, and wonder if anyone has been cool enough to visit for any reason. Perhaps the best way to kill the gossip is to throw a party. We have decided to throw Emmett a birthday bash, and invite everyone from high school. Alice- being the social butterfly amongst us- is simply going to pass out flyers advertising a party for Emmett's birthday at the Cullen house.
This is something that worries me almost as much as it suggests a solution to the problem. A bunch of humans in a house of vampires can always pose a risk. We will go hunting right before the party of course, and do the best we can. Carlisle suggested we put something in our noses to plug the smell. Our noses are very sensitive to smell even though we don't need to breathe, so the hint of humans and their blood can entice us. Alice has a good feeling about this party, but better safe than sorry. I think it is a good idea. Carlisle is probably at home fashioning wax nose plugs right now to test them out.
Esme is excited, it will give her a chance to cook. Even though we don't eat, Esme loves the chance to tinker around in the kitchen. The room never gets any use, bur is always fully stocked for display purposes. Any reason for Esme to play in there is nothing but fun for her, even though she usually won't admit it aloud. Alice will do the decorations while Esme cooks.
Well, that is about it for tonight. I guess I will keep you updated on the Edward Lovers (that is what they call themselves, like a little group). If only they knew I was supposed to eat them for dinner. Ha. Oh well. Be back later.
by
Jessica L
School Monday was everything we expected it to be and more. The talk about the Cullen party was circulating the hallways long before we walked in the doors, and probably even before the doors were open. More than likely, people were talking about it all weekend long. Our behind-the-scenes existence was not going to happen in this town.
Sometimes that happens, of course. It is hard to remain low key when people see you for even half of what you truly are. You develop some sort of a celebrity status. Look at the Volturi, for example. They started out as a small clan, and as they acquired members and wealth, people took notice. Even as they gained respect from other vampires, the humans noticed them too. Their castle is looked at like a historical landmark, and they are considered to be from a great lineage, with great wealth. Of course, no-one realizes it is the same vampires from the same generation, they plaster paintings throughout their castle of new generations every few years, and give tours to up the hype. Their celebrity status among the humans only adds to their power in the vampire world. Other vampires are also looked upon as wealthy and powerful, but in a lesser degree, and we are always moving, of course. It is dangerous to be noticeable, but sometimes it cannot be prevented or stopped.
I think we made that mistake in this town. People noticed us, and we exaggerated the problem by throwing the party. The kids noticed our furniture was above grade, we had paintings on the walls in fancy frames instead of just family photos like most families have, and we had the biggest color television on the market, no thanks to Emmett and his love for the thing. It became obvious right away that despite the outside looks of our home, we had money.
I am looking up on the whole thing, and so is Alice. Neither of us are seeing any major problems yet. The kids are in awe of us, and Alice can't forsee anything going bad, so I am not going to worry. The good thing is I don't have to wear those stupid button down shirts anymore. I can wear my regular clothing, and look as adult as I want to. Emmett still wears the plaid though. I still tease him.
The biggest downfall is that people try and talk to us now, which means we have to be extra careful of acting human. We have to breathe even though we don't need the air, always remember to shift our body weight and fidget every few seconds or so, blink our eyes, and simple things like that. Things we would normally do anyways, except that now people look at us a lot more and so we need to be cautious that we don't forget.
Rosalie and Emmett have it the easiest as they usually spend their between-class time with their faces stuck together. They say it is their "teenage act" but I know better. They are just teenagers at heart. Either way, people usually don't like to look at other people making out with each other, it's gross. Alice and Jasper are more low key, but just as deeply in love. It never ceases to amaze me.
Anyway, the Cullen fan club is as eager as ever, and they have grown by one member. The new one is shyer, so she doesn't follow me around so much, which is nice, but the four of them are really getting on my nerves. After fourth period today, I caught them stuffing love notes into my locker. I am really getting bored of them, so I decided mean is probably the way to go with these girls. I took the notes out of my locker and stuffed them in lockers of random boys from the basketball team. It's caused a little bit of pandemonium this afternoon, I can't lie. I enjoyed every moment of it, too.
Well, that was my day. I find myself writing more and more since leaving Hoquiam. Maybe I need a new hobby. Books are getting boring. I guess I will be back soon.
by
Jessica L
Its been a couple of months since the party, and things seem to have died down a bit. The Cullen kids, as we are most often referred to, are no longer the main source of gossip among our peers at school. We take up the majority of our lunch table with our bodies and our backpacks, and ignore any occasional fool who sits anywhere we can't cover up, so our group of five is pretty much left alone. Alice makes isolated conversations with students here and there in class, but we keep to ourselves in the hallways, just like we usually did. For the most part, things are normal, as if the party never happened, and the gossip never got out of control.
Funny how humans work. Something will be the center of focus for a while, but it gets boring and something new comes along to take its place. We were sort of like that. Carlisle had considered moving again, but no-one really wanted to leave so quickly after getting here, and it isn't that bad of a place, really, better than some of the others we have been, so we decided to ride it out. Alice was a main factor in that decision. She couldn't see anything going bad if we decided to stay, so we did.
As far as the little group of girls that followed me around, I got creative with that one. One by one, I got them all matched up with various members of the basketball team. The girls weren't the most popular, but were all fairly pretty in their own sorts, so it wasn't hard once I laid down the ground work. A few notes placed in the right places, a little gossip spread here and there, and it was easy. I had a little help from Alice and Emmett of course. They helped spread the gossip to the right places, get things overheard and so forth.
One or two of the girls still think of me from time to time, like that crush that just didn't die out, but for the most part they are focused on their new boyfriends, making sure they attend the basketball games and show support. It makes things a lot easier for me, I don't have to block out thoughts of myself kissing various girls, or getting put in awkward positions in bedrooms while fathers are downstairs thinking we are going over geometry. Gross. Why girls' minds work the way they do I will never understand, even after thousands and thousands of years, I am sure of it.
At any rate, since we are seniors here, we have to get interested in the whole college thing. Rose and Emmett are going to attend the Mountain State right here in town, and Alice and Jasper are going to go to the bigger Marshal University half an hour away. I have absolutely no idea where to go. I am taking it a little more seriously because it might actually provide me with some education I haven't seen multiple times already. It could possibly be interesting. Do I want something new and exciting? Or do I want something traditional and established? I am so unsure, but I am used to that feeling.
I spend my life not knowing what I want or how to go about getting anywhere in particular. I follow the rest of my family along, while they have their matches, their identities, and what they feel makes them them but here I sit, unsure of who I am, bouncing from hobby to hobby and book to book and wondering who I am and what is missing. The worst part is that there is no end in sight. And what happens if the end does finally come? Do I burn in hell? Surely there is no heaven for a monster like me. Especially not after the things I have done in my life. I suppose the only thing I can do is keep searching for whatever it is I am searching for. Perhaps I will find it in college. Ha. At least it will be a new experience, as we do not get many of those when you live as long as we do.
I suppose that is all for now. Time to go downstairs and find something to do to take my mind off of myself and my endless wallowing. I seem to like that word. Wallowing. It encompasses me. Oh well. Until another time.
by
Jessica L
Things are pretty boring these days on the college front. I have been attending classes, hanging out with Alice and Jasper on campus, and being a regular guy. It is very weird to be looked at like everyone else. This is the first time since my creation- since any of our creation actually- that we haven't turned any heads. People really don't notice us in any odd way. It is hard to get used to, almost like losing a part of your personality.
The women here are all over me also, but not in the obsessive, girly way the high school group I had to deal with earlier was. These women are older and more direct, more intense. I have learned how to get certain things from them, such as if I need access to the library after hours, or a coffee for the professor when I don't have any money on hand. It surprises me how often a professor will just pick a student out of the front row and order them to leave class to fetch them a coffee or a water. I stopped sitting in the front row a month or two into the first semester.
Anyway, at first I felt bad for manipulating women like this, and then I started dissecting it further. I wondered why I was able to do this. None of the others seem to do it and I wondered if it was a power unique to me. I didn't want to tell anyone what I was doing, however, as it didn't seem very nice. I wasn't really forcing anyone to do anything. I was merely leaning closer to the woman, making sure their heart beat faster and their ability to think started getting fuzzy, and then I asked for what I wanted. It usually worked. The first few tries were trials. Practices. Then I knew what I was doing. The women seem more than happy to oblige to my needs.
After a while, my curiosity about the whole thing got the better of me, and I couldn't keep quiet about it any longer. I finally confided in Carlisle about what I was doing. I tried to read his thoughts as I was telling him about my adventures, but all I was getting from him was surprise. Then imagine my shock when he started laughing. He actually laughed at me.
He said that he was surprised that it took me so long to figure this little trick out. It was the oldest vampire trick in the book. Human manipulation. It sounded horrible when he said it, of course. Then he really knocked my socks off. He said the Denali sisters were true professionals at it. They manipulated men like an art form. In fact, their exploits with men caused the Denali sisters to grow quite fond of men in general, which gave them a love for the human kind, and in turn, a sense of guilt when they fed on humans- especially the men they found to be so amazing in the first place. I had heard the short version of that story, but this version was much better.
Carlisle went on to say that there were always times when vampires needed to use a little sense of "charm" to get their way with the humans. Sometimes, if he had a particularly difficult patient it came in handy. The trick was to know the difference between when to use it and when to use your conscience. Carlisle was also surprised that I hadn't discovered this sooner, but after some contemplation on the matter, he figured that my lack of interest in the opposite sex probably distracted me from trying to manipulate them, or ask them for anything. Therefore I wouldn't have discovered this neat little trick.
The funny thing is that Carlisle is going crazy trying to document all my stories, asking me every detail about every time I've used any form of persuasion on a human. He finds it truly fascinating to combine the natural ability of vampire persuasion with my extra talent of mind reading. Surprise surprise. Anything to give Carlisle something to study I suppose. Now he has me asking a girl for something silly once a week. Last week I asked this woman at the cafeteria for a free piece of apple pie. I don't even eat. She gave it to me of course, then I had to pretend it was the most delicious thing. All for Carlisle. He got such a laugh out of it. Next week I will be smarter about my choices, but the cafeteria was right there, and the day was almost over. Oh well.
I guess that's it for now. I am tired of writing, so I should probably sign off. I am working on a new song that needs my attention anyway. Better get back to it.
